UNIVERSITYOF^ MIC
HI
GAN^18 SMITHSONIAN | April 2020The verdict was
rigged, but hun-
dreds of people
gathered in Ann
Arbor as the car
was convicted.THE AUTOMOBILE IS ESSENTIAL
TO THE MAINTENANCE OF THE
AMERICAN PSYCHE.discriminating against the poor.” This last charge
refl ected newly urgent concerns about highways,
which tended to be built in lower-income neigh-
borhoods, and resulted in polluting and sometimes
even bulldozing those communities.
The sedan had a lot going for it—powerful wit-
nesses for the defense; a distracted judge, who spent
the mock trial reading an issue of Auto Racing (such
ruling-class complacency amid ecological crisis!);
and a society increasingly built around cars as the
primary form of transport.
“Rob Rockyfeller,” witness for the defense, testi-
fi ed that his (fi ctional) foundation had found that
auto exhaust was only half as toxic as aspirin. His
appearance lampooned the various foundations that
supported business-friendly policy in the name of
general prosperity. Another witness attested to the
importance of cars to the American economy. But nowitness evoked the country’s car mania more vividly
than “Dr. Sigmund Ford,” who sat stiffl y on the stand
with his head tilted slightly back, looking down his
nose at the crowd below him.
“The automobile is essential to the maintenance
of the American’s psyche,” Ford shouted, urging the
court to consider the emotional security a car gives
to the American man. “You can’t take it away from
him! How else could he know his power and virili-
ty? How can we show our neighbors we’re stronger
and more powerful than they are without a Lincoln
Continental?”
“But what would actually happen to [Americans]
if you took away cars?” asked the prosecutor, wear-
ing a plaid skirt-suit and, of all things, leather driv-
ing gloves.
“But you see, cars are very important,” Ford began,
dodging the question. “They serve a function—”
“What would be the eff ect on people?” the pros-
ecutor interjected. Ford couldn’t provide a satisfac-
tory answer. “You just can’t take away their cars,” he
shouted. “You can’t take away my car!”
The judge, stirred briefl y from his magazine,
found Dr. Ford a compelling witness and ruled the
sedan innocent before accusing a dozen activists of
“conspiring” against the automobile. A handful of
activists then unceremoniously debenched theprologue
EARTH DAY