the little Cessna rattled its way down
the gravel runway. Matthew looked
elated. I knew I was supposed to be
excited, too, but I couldn’t get there.
For the moment, I existed in a bubble
of cold calm. That, I figured, was pref-
erable to the likely alternative: wild,
hair-tearing panic.
I was acting on a very popular idea:
the notion that facing one’s fears is
the key to conquering them. In their
third year at Hogwarts, Harry Pot-
ter and his classmates are taught by
Professor Remus Lupin to face down
their fears by laughing at them. In
The Sound of Music, the abbess tells
Maria she must confront her feelings,I
took a deep breath. “My name’s
Eva,” I said, speaking to the cam-
era lens, “and I’m here to face my
fear of falling from heights.”
The small crowd that had gath-
ered around me oohed and cheered
as I crawled into the tiny plane, awk-
ward in my elaborate harness. Only
the pilot had a seat—all the others
had been removed—and I sat on the
floor behind him, facing backward,
spooning with my divemaster, Barry.
Another pair climbed in beside us:
divemaster Neil and his charge, Mat-
thew, a first-time skydiver like me.
They sat by the open doorway,
and Matthew and I bumped fists asIn the last moments before I climbed into the Cessna,
I turned and faced a young bearded man who was
pointing a video camera at my face. I wore a jumpsuit
made of panels of fluorescent orange and green
fabric, the colors faded by years of sun and wind.
A pair of goggles and a leather helmet were strapped
on my head. “Why are you here?” the man asked me.
106 april 2020
Reader’s Digest
maria^ amador^ (plane^ andclouds)