I ate dinner with a chess grandmaster
last night. Problem was, we had a
checkered tablecloth. It took him two
hours to pass the salt!
—chessninja.com“Who are these peo-
ple?” The pastor said,
“Those are members
from our church who
died in service.” The
boy asked, “The early
service or the second
service?”
—Submitted by
James Powers
Woodbury, MinnesotaWords you’d think were
cool if you didn’t know
what they mean:
✦atrophy
✦space bar
✦supervision
✦extraction
✦dogmatic
—@DanMentos“Doc, I can’t stop
singing ‘Green, Green
Grass of Home.’ ”
“That sounds like
Tom Jones syndrome.”
“Is it common?”
“It’s not unusual.”
—gruntdoc.comGot a funny joke?
It could be worth $$$.
For details, go to
rd.com/submit.A scientist who made
contact with aliens
said, “They’re nothing
like us—all they keep
saying is ‘Err. Err.’”
“Why should thatAMERICA’S FAVORITE PAST-LINES
Grab some peanuts and Cracker Jack—it’s baseball
season! And these wise old ballplayers may have had
their own ideas about who’s on first:
✦Why does everybody
sing “Take Me Out to the
Ball Game” when they’re
already there?
—Larry Andersen,
phillies pitcher✦You want proof
baseball players are
smarter than football
players? How oftenfield?
—
yankees
pitcher✦Baseball statistics
are like a girl in a bikini—
they show a lot, but not
everything.
—Toby Harrah,
rangers shortstopmean they aren’t like
us?” his colleague
replied. “To err is
human.”
—Submitted by
Steve Smith
New York, New YorkReader’s Digestbe
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