2020-04-01 Real Simple

of shifting to more experienced-based

gifts. We’re wondering if you’d be

interested in joining us. If you gifted

us a zoo membership, it would be a

great place for us all to go as a family.”

Another idea is to skip presents alto-

gether: “The holidays are so hectic,

and the cousins love connecting with

each other. Instead of a gift exchange,

how about we use the money we

would have spent on presents to take

them to that Marriott for a night?”

(Seriously, all kids need is an indoor

pool. And their cousins!)

NEXT STEPS: Miles warns that you

can’t make anyone gift your way. “If

your parents love giving gifts, it can be

tough to take that away from them,”

she says. But you can set boundaries.

If Grandma insists she wants to give

toys, let her know those toys can stay

at her house, to make visits there even

more special.

The Safety-First

Stand-Up

ATTENDEES: Nuclear family

RECURRING: Twice yearly

LOCATION: At home

It’s a good idea to regularly touch base

about safety. You’ll want to create (and

then review) a what-if plan for home

emergencies, like fires, and make sure

everyone knows what to do if you’re

separated during a weather event or

other natural disaster, says Maureen

Vogel of the National Safety Council.

Start with your home: Your kids

may be years past babyproofing age,

but it’s important to point out hazards

to tweens and teens, Vogel says. For

instance, do they know that charging

their phones while watching YouTube

videos in the tub is a bad idea?

Do they know what gas smells like?

“Just as you might have done when

they were younger, consider house-

hold dangers, then discuss them,”

Vogel says, adding that a warning

about social media pranks might

also be needed—kids may unwittingly

take risks based on the latest nonsense

they’ve seen on TikTok.

Older kids can be great problem-

solvers. Ask them what they’d do if

you had a medical emergency or they

accidentally started a fire while home

alone. Come up with a disaster plan

together so you can feel reassured

about their own safety smarts. “The

point is not to scare your kids but to

help empower them to make smart

decisions,” Vogel says. Load emer-

gency contact numbers onto everyone’s

phones and post them on the fridge,

and introduce yourselves to neighbors

who could be helpful in an emergency.

Another item on this meeting

agenda: a safety plan for an emergency

outside the home. Do your kids and

spouse know your phone numbers—

mobile and work—by heart? Memoriz-

ing phone numbers is no longer a

habit in our contact-list world, but

it’s an important step. So is offering a

disaster plan, even if it’s as simple as

reminding kids to listen to a teacher,

police officer, or other adult in charge

if something scary happens and you’re

not right there, Vogel says.

NEXT STEPS: Have a similar safety

conversation with your extended

family. If your brother’s home is lost

in a fire, would he be able to stay

with you? If you can’t reach your

sister or her husband, is there a

neighbor or friend to call? Making

a plan, even if it’s likely you’ll never

use it, can give you peace of mind.

Rather than

cringing when a

package with your

in-laws’ return

address arrives,

make your wishes

known in a

low-key way.

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