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Chapter 5.
“This is rather indiscreet, but it’s so good it’s an awful temptation
to tell the story,” said Vronsky, looking at her with his laughing eyes.
“I’m not going to mention any names.”
“But I shall guess, so much the better.”
“Well, listen: two festive young men were driving-”
“Officers of your regiment, of course?”
“I didn’t say they were officers,—two young men who had been
lunching.”
“In other words, drinking.”
“Possibly. They were driving on their way to dinner with a friend in
the most festive state of mind. And they beheld a pretty woman in a
hired sledge; she overtakes them, looks round at them, and, so they
fancy anyway, nods to them and laughs. They, of course, follow her.
They gallop at full speed. To their amazement, the fair one alights at
the entrance of the very house to which they were going. The fair one
darts upstairs to the top story. They get a glimpse of red lips under a
short veil, and exquisite little feet.”
“You describe it with such feeling that I fancy you must be one of
the two.”
“And after what you said, just now! Well, the young men go in to
their comrade’s; he was giving a farewell dinner. There they certainly
did drink a little too much, as one always does at farewell dinners. And
at dinner they inquire who lives at the top in that house. No one
knows; only their host’s valet, in answer to their inquiry whether any
‘young ladies’ are living on the top floor, answered that there were a
great many of them about there. After dinner the two young men go
into their host’s study, and write a letter to the unknown fair one. They
compose an ardent epistle, a declaration in fact, and they carry the
letter upstairs themselves, so as to elucidate whatever might appear
not perfectly intelligible in the letter.”
“Why are you telling me these horrible stories? Well?”
“They ring. A maidservant opens the door, they hand her the
letter, and assure the maid that they’re both so in love that they’ll die
on the spot at the door. The maid, stupefied, carries in their messages.
All at once a gentleman appears with whiskers like sausages, as red as
a lobster, announces that there is no one living in the flat except his
wife, and sends them both about their business.”
“How do you know he had whiskers like sausages, as you say?”
“Ah, you shall hear. I’ve just been to make peace between them.”
“Well, and what then?”
“That’s the most interesting part of the story. It appears that it’s a
happy couple, a government clerk and his lady. The government clerk
lodges a complaint, and I became a mediator, and such a mediator!... I
assure you Talleyrand couldn’t hold a candle to me.”
“Why, where was the difficulty?”
“Ah, you shall hear.... We apologize in due form: we are in despair,
we entreat forgiveness for the unfortunate misunderstanding. The
government clerk with the sausages begins to melt, but he, too, desires
to express his sentiments, and as soon as ever he begins to express
them, he begins to get hot and say nasty things, and again I’m obliged