Leo Tolstoy - Anna Karenina

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mistress’s new arrangements. He saw that Kitty was extraordinarily
sweet when, laughing and crying, she came to tell him that her maid,
Masha, was used to looking upon her as her young lady, and so no one
obeyed her. It seemed to him sweet, but strange, and he thought it
would have been better without this.
He did not know how great a sense of change she was experienc-
ing; she, who at home had sometimes wanted some favorite dish, or
sweets, without the possibility of getting either, now could order what
she liked, buy pounds of sweets, spend as much money as she liked,
and order any puddings she pleased.
She was dreaming with delight now of Dolly’s coming to them with
her children, especially because she would order for the children their
favorite puddings and Dolly would appreciate all her new housekeep-
ing. She did not know herself why and wherefore, but the arranging of
her house had an irresistible attraction for her. Istinctively feeling the
approach of spring, and knowing that there would be days of rough
weather too, she built her nest as best she could, and was in haste at
the same time to build it and to learn how to do it.
This care for domestic details in Kitty, so opposed to Levin’s ideal
of exalted happiness, was at first one of the disappointments; and this
sweet care of her household, the aim of which he did not understand,
but could not help loving, was one of the new happy surprises.
Another disappointment and happy surprise came in their quar-
rels. Levin could never have conceived that between him and his wife
any relations could arise other than tender, respectful and loving, and
all at once in the very early days they quarreled, so that she said he did
not care for her, that he cared for no one but himself, burst into tears,
and wrung her arms.
This first quarrel arose from Levin’s having gone out to a new


farmhouse and having been away half an hour too long, because he
had tried to get home by a short cut and had lost his way. He drove
home thinking of nothing but her, of her love, of his own happiness,
and the nearer he drew to home, the warmer was his tenderness for her.
He ran into the room with the same feeling, with an even stronger
feeling than he had had when he reached the Shtcherbatskys’ house to
make his offer. And suddenly he was met by a lowering expression he
had never seen in her. He would have kissed her; she pushed him
away.
“What is it?”
“You’ve been enjoying yourself,” she began, trying to be calm and
spiteful. But as soon as she opened her mouth, a stream of reproach, of
senseless jealousy, of all that had been torturing her during that half
hour which she had spent sitting motionless at the window, burst from
her. It was only then, for the first time, that he clearly understood what
he had not understood when he led her out of the church after the
wedding. He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he
did not know where he ended and she began. He felt this from the
agonizing sensation of division that he experienced at that instant. He
was offended for the first instant, but the very same second he felt that
he could not be offended by her, that she was himself. He felt for the
first moment as a man feels when, having suddenly received a violent
blow from behind, he turns round, angry and eager to avenge himself,
to look for his antagonist, and finds that it is he himself who has acci-
dentally struck himself, that there is no one to be angry with, and that
he must put up with and try to soothe the pain.
Never afterwards did he feel it with such intensity, but this first
time he could not for a long while get over it. His natural feeling urged
him to defend himself, to prove to her she was wrong; but to prove her
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