Best articles: Britain NEWS^13
21 March 2020 THE WEEKOh Jeremy,
we’ll hate it
when you go
MatthewParris
TheTimes
TheToriesarebadlygoingtomissJeremyCorbyn,saysMatthew
Parris.Forapartythathasalwaysdefineditselfmorebywhatit
isagainstthanwhatitisfor,hehasbeentheperfectgift.Afterall,
theConservativeshaveneverhadaclearphilosophyoftheirown:
they’veattimessupportedthenopposedfreetrade,beenforthen
againstindividualliberty,beenpro-EUthenanti-EU.Theparty’s
soleconsistentthreadoverthepastcenturyhasbeenitsaversion
tothe“ogres”ofsocialismwhichtheLefthasobliginglyserved
upintheformofsucheasilycaricaturedfiguresasArthurScargill
andGLCleader“Red”KenLivingstone.TonyBlairfailedto
oblige,thoughitmanagedtocastGordonBrownas“somekind
ofproto-commie”.“EdMilibandwasjustenoughofapinkoto
squeak[theTories]backintopowerin2 01 5.Then–wahey!–
Corbyn.”HerewasamanevenTheresaMaycouldbeat.Butnow
Corbynisoff;andthoughhislikelyreplacement,KeirStarmer,can
beaccusedofbeingabitdreary,hecanhardlybecastasarabid
Marxist.Andthat’sgoingtomakelifeverydifficultfortheTories.Ploughing up
the dolphin-
torn sea
GeorgeMonbiot
TheGuardian
Everyone loves dolphins, says George Monbiot, yet the grim reality
is that we’re allowingcommercial fishing todrivethese beautiful
creatures to extinction.A“horrifying”reportearlier this month
foundthat dolphinnumbersin theIndian Ocean have fallen by
87% since 1980.Why? Becausethey getcaughtupingillnetsset
for tuna. Buttheproblem isn’t confinedto distant seas. Wherever
trawlersplytheir trade,inparticularthe “supertrawlers” whose
gigantic nets scoop up entire shoals, dolphinsare endangered. The
evidence is alltoo plaininthe hundreds of dolphinandporpoise
corpsesthat wash upeachyearonBritishand Frenchbeaches. Yet
allthe UK andEUgovernments are doingtostopthisisputting
observers on lessthan1% offishing vessels.The only waytostop
the slaughter is to create ocean sanctuaries. And unlike the existing
“marine conservationzones”,almost allofwhich arejust“paper
parks”open to trawlers throughoutthe year,theywould need to
be sanctuarieswhere allfishing is banned.Until then, theonly
truly dolphin-friendly shoppingoptionis to stop buyingfish atall.How the virus
will fulfilthe
Greendream
Stephen Pollard
UnHerd
Transatlanticflights grounded. Peopleworkingfromhome. A
shrinkingeconomy.Haveyounoticed, asksStephenPollard,how
neatlythe effectsofthecoronavirusandthe long-term goalsof the
Greenmovementconverge?For years,theGreenParty has argued
thatpeople need totravellessbyplaneandcar;thatweneedto
createamorelocallybased,self-sufficienteconomy andrejectthe
trend toevermoreglobalisation;andthat wemust learntogetby
withlessrather thanendlessly pursue economicgrowth.Andnow
thatthevirushasleft usnochoicebutadoptthese suggestions,
we willgetachanceto road-test just how plausible they are. The
airlinesare grindingtoahalt;the number ofcar journeyswill
plummetas people increasinglyself-isolate. Atsome point,almost
everyonebar essential workerswillprobablyhave towork from
home.And accordingto thewell-respected Centrefor Economics
andBusinessResearch,as long assuchashutdownendures,
London’soutputislikelytofallby£495maday.Inshort,we’re
about toseewhataGreen world wouldactuallylooklike, and
my guess is thatits image “mightjusttakeabitofabattering”.Play up, play
up and win the
bloody game
Robin Hardman
The Spectator
PoliceintheUSaretrained
torespondtoawidevariety
ofurgentsituations–but
thecoronavirusoutbreak
hasthrownupanewone.
Apolicedepartmentin
Newport,Oregon,hasissued
areminderonitsFacebook
page,askingmembersof
thepublicnottodialthe
emergencynumberifthey
runoutoflooroll.“Itishard
tobelievethatweevenhave
topostthis”,saidaspokes-
person.“Donotcall 911 just
becauseyouranoutoftoilet
paper.Youwillsurvive
withoutourassistance.”AwomaninVancouver
thought she wasdoingher
bit tohaltthe spread ofthe
virusbycarefullywashing
her handswithalumpof
unscentedsoapshekept
bythesink.After acouple
of days,however,she
wondered,“Whyisn’tthis
foaming?”Theanswer,she
finallytwigged,wasthatthe
lumpwas“literallyablock
of cheese”.“I come[sic]to
realise,” she told readerson
Reddit,“itwas adried-out
squareofTillamooksharp
cheddar cheese. Isuspect
Ileft itoutwhen Iwas
intoxicatedand justforgot.”Islamic State has adopted a
safety-first approach to the
pandemic. It has advised
members not to travel to
Europe, and to concentrate
on personal hygiene rather
than attacks on the West.
In the latest edition of its
al-Naba newsletter, the terror
group urges followers to
“stay away from the land of
the epidemic” for the time
being. Isis members are
instructed instead to “put
trust in God and seek refuge
in Him from illnesses”–but
also to “cover the mouth
when yawning and sneezing”
to fulfil the holy “obligation”
of avoiding infection.ITMUSTBETRUE...
IreaditinthetabloidsIt’s the taking part that counts. That used to be the great mantra of
schoolsportsatBritain’sold public schools, says RobinHardman.
You don’thear itso much in thefee payingsector thesedays. The
focus todayhas dramatically shifted to theimportance ofwinning
atall costs.Where schoolsports wereonce runby academic staff,
today they’re increasinglymanagedby ex-professionals especially
hired as directors of sports. In rugby in particular,success on the
playingfieldisnow seen asapotentmarketingtoolfor impressing
prospectiveparents.One rugby coach hasrevealed thatwhenever
the1st XV loseaSaturdayfixture, theheadmastercalls an urgent
meetingto demand an explanation. There hasalsobeenasurge in
schools offering bursaries or scholarships to talented rugby players
–someevenpoach top playersfromrival schools with offersof
fee discounts.Andalong withthisprofessionalisation ofschool
rugby comes an obsessional focus on year-roundweighttraining
to bulk uptheplayers.Now, followingarecentinfluxof ex-pros
into school coachin gjobs, hockeyand netball look set to follow
suit. It may be theway to getresults,butitisn’t reallycricket.