The Wall Street Journal - 04.04.2020 - 05.04.2020

D12| Saturday/Sunday, April 4 - 5, 2020 **** THE WALL STREET JOURNAL.

RUMBLE SEAT/DAN NEIL

Flying Down Empty Roads

In Ferrari’s F8 Tributo

I WATCHEDthe Ferrari F8 Tributo

roll off the transporter and onto

my street last Monday, feeling the

heat of temptation. This growling,

diamond-eyed panther was arriv-

ing in the midst of social-distanc-

ing measures in North Carolina,

but before a lockdown on unneces-

sary travel. Within a radius of 30

miles from my house, I knew, were

hundreds of miles of suddenly

empty freeways and back roads. I

also guessed the highway patrol

would have better things to do

than reel in jackasses in Ferraris,

who probably don’t have any

friends to visit anyway.

Although it was a hell of a way

for it to happen, Covid-19 had

brought about a car-lover’s impos-

sible dream, the “Forza Motor-

sport” videogame brought to life.

Here I was being handed the (sani-

tized) key fob to a tanked-up, mur-

dered-out Ferrari, and loosed in a

consequence-free topography with

no traffic and no limits beyond

those my frail will could impose.

This is so wrong, I thought to

myself. With everything that’s hap-

pening in the U.S., and with tragedy

in Italy still unfolding, how could I

even think about exploiting the situ-

ation for my own amusement? I was

going about 170 mph at the time.

The name needs some unpack-

ing. Like the LaFerrari hypercar of

the 2010s, the name “F8 Tributo”

is a cheeky salute to self—specifi-

cally the 3.9-liter, twin-turbo-

charged, flat-crank V-8 engine sit-

ting amidships. Swelling to its

maximum 710 hp at a hair-igniting

8,000 rpm, and 569 lb-ft of what-

the-hell-hit-us, Ferrari’swundermill

is a four-time winner of the Inter-

national Engine of the Year Award.

While named in honor of its en-

gine, the Tributo is mostly the

same car, the same human-sling-

shot experience, as the retiring

488 GTB. The saddle-tan leather

cordwaining on seats and doors is

still gorgeous. The infotainment

system remains rudimentary with

displays the size of playing cards.

But the Tributo does get the lat-

est version of the 90-degree V8,

shared with the track-prepped 488

GTB Pista. This package squeezes

out an additional 49 hp with

lighter reciprocating masses and

freer-breathing exhaust plumbing,

including tubular manifolds made

of high-temperature Inconel.

At night, in the heat of action,

these manifolds can be seen through

ventilated rear bodywork, their or-

ange-white incandescence rising and

dimming with the engine’s effort.

Officer, I’d like to report a screaming

witch on a tangerine broom.

Also among the greasy bits, the

company’s tough, silk-smooth dual-

clutch seven-speed transaxle with

multi-mode torque vectoring. The

dynamic control system has also

downloaded the latest in auto-drift

algorithms for your slithering plea-

sure. The Ferrari Dynamic Enhancer

(FDE) helps keep a handle on the

car in power-on oversteer situa-

tions. If/when the car’s g-meters

sense it’s about to swap ends, the

FDE will feather the throttle, dab

the brakes and vector the torques

just so to keep it going where it’s

aimed, all while keeping it fun.

The muscled-up Tributo is also

leaner, weighing 88 pounds less

than the GTB. Much of that differ-

ence can be attributed to the

Lexan rear window, replacing the

488’s conventional fixed glass.

The assembled pieces comprise a

veritable vortex of lapsed judgment:

0-60 mph acceleration in 2.9 sec-

onds and a top speed of 211 mph.

That’s social distancing done right.

There was some curiosity mixed

with my delinquency. Exotic car

makers love to brag about down-

force, that is, the manipulation of

air pressure to hold a car to the

road. But this phenomenon is of-

ten oversold and exaggerated in

road cars and quite undetectable

on your typical country road, un-

less that country is Qatar.

The shapely hole in the Tributo’s

hood, for example, is the so-called

S-Duct, channeling pressurized air

from bumper level over the bonnet,

creating downforce over the front

axle. Balancing that downforce in

the rear is a “blown” spoiler: A

pair of ducts on the shoulders di-

rects airflow to the rear spoiler.

These airflows pass through vanes

that recompress the airflow hitting

the spoiler, increasing downforce

while reducing drag. And all with-

out an ugly rear wing.

But how would you ever know

for sure, unless somebody shut

down the entire country and gave

you a hall pass?

Raging down the interstate in a

fast, straight line, the Tributo’s

aero registers as a sort of planted

suppleness, requiring little tending

of the feather-light, e-assisted

steering. The wishbone suspen-

sion, backed with predictive/adap-

tive magnetic dampers, flexes and

recovers purposefully. For as light

as the steering is, the Tributo’s

brake-pedal effort is high and the

pedal stroke quite short, like a

competition car. I like that. The

carbon-ceramic Brembo brakes are

the mightiest of anchors.

The car’s capacity for violence-

on-demand is measured in scant

milliseconds. Paddle-shift into

third gear and give it some rope.

Du-whaaa-dum-pahhhh! Gawhhh.

There is a shade of melancholy

to the Tributo name, signaling as it

does the end of technical develop-

ment for Ferrari’s volume-produc-

tion V8s. The next generation of V

engines will have six cylinders, not

eight; and the package will be hy-

brid-electric, like the current per-

formance flagship SF90 Stradale.

How time flies. It’s easy to for-

get the turbo V8 was loathed when

it first appeared in the California

T (2014). Even though it was

power-dense and more efficient

than the naturally aspirated V8s

and V12s, Ferraristas bitched that

the turbochargers muffled the en-

gine’s sound, robbing the cars of

their aural presence.

I bet they will miss it when it’s

gone.

The F8 is a wellspring

of moral delinquency:

0-124 mph in 7 seconds.

Now that’s social

distancing done right.

GEAR & GADGETS

FEELING COUPE’D UP?
Ferrari’s aerodynamic F8,
with a top speed of 211
mph, will take you far from
the madding crowds.
FERRARI

Base Price$275,780, including gas-

guzzler tax and delivery fee

Price, as Tested$360,796

PowertrainMid-mounted 3.9-liter

90-degree DOHC V8, direct injected

and turbocharged; seven-speed auto-

mated dual-clutch rear transaxle

Power/Torque710 hp (SAE) at 8,000

rpm; 569 pound-feet at 3,250 rpm

Length/Width/Height/Wheelbase

181.5/77.9/47.5/104.3 inches

Dry Weight2,932 pounds

0-60 mph2.9 seconds

0-124 mph7 seconds

Top Speed211 mph

FERRARI F8 TRIBUTO

‘We face small

emergencies all the time,

we’ll face a few big ones in

our lives, too. Think

logically and you’ll never

show up empty-handed,’

said Christian Schauf,

founder of the emergency

preparedness brand

Uncharted Supply Co.

Whether it’s flat tires, an

earthquake or pandemic,

these kits are packed with

everything your family

needs to make it through

You Got This In the Bag

For Hunkering Down

In addition to three days

of supplies and

first aid, the Safe

by Judy includes

sanitizer, candles

and matches, a uni-

versal emergency

phone charger, a

flashlight, a multi-

tool and a hand-crank

radio with instructions. Even if you

don’t spring for one of Judy’s bright

orange crates or bags, the brand can

text you customized information

about disaster events in your area,

such as hurricanes,

and Covid-19 out-

breaks. After you

submit your

phone number

and zip code on

the Judy site,

you’ll start to

receive relevant

information and up-

dates that you can use to

prepare your home, said co-

founder Simon Huck. You can also re-

ceive real-time responses about your

situation from Judy’s emergency ex-

perts.The Safe, $250, readyjudy.com

A series of soothing

poems on the anxieties

of toiling remotely

‘Per My Last

Haiku’

When You’re On the Go

“Most of the time you have what

you need at home. It’s when you’re

out and about that you find yourself

without access to what you

need,” said Uncharted Supply

Co. founder Christian

Schauf. He recommends

keeping a bag in your

carsoit’salwaysmov-

ing with you. This 16-

pound waterproof roll-

top backpack

includes enough

supplies for two,

from food and

water to reusable N-99 air filtration

masks, gloves and beanies for

warmth, and even a shovel. It also

features spare room for needed

things like prescriptions. Every-

thing inside is color coordi-

nated with instructions so

you never waste time

searching. “You

don’t know what

the emergency is

until it happens.”

said Mr. Schauf.

Seventy2 Pro,

$500, unchart-

edsupplyco.com

The Wall Street Journal is not compensated by retailers listed in itsarticles as outlets for products. Listed retailers frequently are not the sole retail outlets.

Chic Preparedness

When an emergency strikes, you

don’t have time to dig in a closet

for supplies. Preppi uses design

to encourage people to keep kits,

like this stylish one, at the ready

and even gift them, said CEO

Ryan Kuhlman. The canvas week-

ender holds 72 hours of provi-

sions (which experts say is often

the longest it should take for aid

to arrive), including food and wa-

ter, a solar-powered phone char-

ger, flares, a tube-tent shelter, di-

verting playing cards and two

N95 respirator masks many have

been seeking amid the Covid-19

outbreak. “You should have the

proper tools ready before you

know you need them.”The Prep-

ster Two Person, $495, preppi.co

Can’t work with children

Clinging to my every limb

Iamaplaything!

I have measured out

This help-desk call in Cheez-Its

Fifteen and counting

Books and plants frame me

Look at my lavish workspace

Cameras tell lies

Hello? He-he-lo?

He-he-he-lo? Lo? Lo? (Damn)

(My Hangout’s a mess)

All day on the phone

Convincing Boomer parents

To please, please stay home

Little spinning disk

Please let me connect...please

Don’t strand me in Queens NISHANT CHOKSI