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was quite rebellious at 16 years old, and very
sociable. I did like my clubbing. But I think when
you’re 16 you tend to carry the weight of the world on
your shoulders, there’s so much pressure to succeed.
SoI wasalso worried about my GCSEs and what path I was
going to take. Fortunately for me I always had quite a clear
vision and even though I’m not doing now what I thought I
should be doing – becoming a PE teacher – I was always one
of these individuals that had a plan. So I was an interesting
mix between somebody who was a bit of a rebel, but also
quite sensible and focused on making sure that I carved out a
career for myself.Lots of people describe my childhood as tough [her father
moved away when she was four, and her mother suffered
domestic violence from a subsequent partner]. But I have
great memories of being in a very loving household, with
great friends and great family. But like lots of human beings
I had challenging times and, of course, everything you go
through shapes who you are. So I was very streetwise as a
kid, very savvy and awake to the world. I wasn’t one of those
16-year-olds walking around in a whimsical fairy land. I had
a strong grip on what the real the world was like. But at the
same time I was a dreamer. I dreamt about creating the life
that I wanted. I dreamt about having a successful family. I
dreamt about being on stage and travelling the world. So as
much as I was a realist, I was also an optimist.I’ve always had a good relationship with my mum. She was
great at supporting my optimism. So when I said to my mum,
I’m interested on singing or I’m thinking about joining a girl
group – most parents would be freaked out by something
like that. They’d tell you to get a sensible job. But she was
always encouraging me, saying things like, it’s very important
when you wake up in the morning that you enjoy what you
do, that you love what you do, because that’s how you shine.
I remember when I said to people I wanted to be a singer, I
was aware almost as the words were falling out of my mouth
how ridiculous it sounded. Because the music industry may
as well have been on Mars. I knew nothing about it, it was
such a far-fetched dream. But my mum always made me feel
like anything’s possible if you’ve got a vision. I think that’s
probably what helped me make the decision after two years
of college to leave and pursue singing. It was a massive,
massive risk but because I had that support, I was able to
take that risk.I’ve always been a very strong-headed, determined person.
But I’m 41 and even though I’ve ticked lots of boxes, I still
question the next 10 years. What am I going to do next? I
think when you’re a creative person, you tend to live in that
space of ‘What’s next?’ The unknown is quite an exciting
place, now that I don’t fear it any more. When I was younger
I feared the unknown. I needed to know what was going to
happen. Now I’ve accepted that a lot is out of my control. I can
work towards things, but actually life is always surprising. So
you’ve got to let go. Give it over to the universe.My biggest, riskiest decision was to leave Mis-Teeq [the
successful all-female R&B/rap band she was in until 2005]. I
had been in a girl group for eight years. That was my comfort
zone. But there was an instinct, a feeling towards the end of
my time in the group that I wasn’t happy. And I needed to
leave. I was only 25, I hadn’t paid off a mortgage, I still had
bills to pay. So it was a major, major decision. I signed a new
record deal and spent a year-and-a-half making an album
that the record company shelved, then found myself out of a
deal. So I was like, oh my god, what have I done?I would tell my younger self to have faith. There I was,
sitting in my house with no record deal, having pretty much
lost all the money I’d ever worked for, and some other thingsI
2020
At the London launch of
her book Star SwitchSinger,Strictlywinner,national treasure
Alesha
Dixon
letter to my
younger self.
Alesha says she has “great
memories” of growing up in
Welwyn Garden City2000
With her Mis-Teeq bandmates at
the NME Awards in London