Photo:
Kip Carroll/eyevine
23-29 MARCH 2020 BIGISSUE.COM | 25that were going on in my life that have been very publicly documented
[her marriage to rapper MC Harvey broke up after his affair with another
singer]. I literally thought I’d lost everything. And then the universe just
said: That’s what you thought, but here we go. You’re about to enter into
this new phase of your life. And then I had a hugely successful solo record
and had this incredible journey when in 2 00 7 I became a contestant on
Strictly Come Dancing and I won. And that took me on to becoming a judge
on the show. The biggest risk brought the biggest pay-off.Music has always been top of the list for me, where I feel my most
authentic self, where I feel the most happy. And yet it always ends up
at the bottom of my schedule; there are all these obstacles. But what a
brilliant problem to have, juggling all these amazing things. One day I’m
working on my children’s book, another day I’m working on the best show
on TV [as a judge on Britain’s Got Talent], then I go into the studio and have
therapeutic writing sessions and pour my heart out into a song. I feel
very, very lucky and super-excited that my fifth children’s’ book is about
to come out. But once I get back in the studio I just feel so alive again
and I feel so good and that’s best of all.Looking back now, when I was 16 I was so anxious. I wasted a lot of
time worrying. I wish I could go back to that 16-year-old and tell her
everything’s going to be OK. And actually, failure is not a bad thing. When
you’re young you think, oh my god if I fail it’s the end of the world. You
don’t realise that actually, it might be the making of you. And I wish that
back then I knew that challenging times and up-and-down moments are
just the landscape of life. Sometimes when you’re younger you have theseidealistictakesinyour head thateverythingshouldbesmooth.Butlife
comeswithbumpsintheroad.I’vehadlotsofamazingmomentsbutthebestofallwasprobably
whenI gotthephonecalltobeonAmerica’sGotTalent[itwas announced
lastyear thatshewas to becomeajudge].For about 20 years, maybe
more,I’vebeenobsessedwithworkinginAmerica. So thatwas the
momentthatreallyfeltlikeadream cometrue.Don’tgetmewrong,I’ve
had manyamazingmoments, butwhatwas sosignificantandexciting
aboutthephonecall thatIgotto beonAmerica’sGotTalentisthatit
happenedwhenIwas 4 0 years old.Wehavethesepreconceivedideas
aboutwhathappenswhenyougetto acertainage.And thereIwas at4 0 ,
gettingthebestphonecall of mylife.And oh,Ihappenedto bepregnant
atthesametimetoo!IfI couldgobacktoanytimeinmylife,I’dbeonstage,probablyat
VFestivalin2009.It was aglorioussunnyday.Ilookedoutatthisnever-
endingseaof humanssingingmyown songsback atmeand IfeltlikeI
was standingon thetop of theworld.Irememberfeelinggratefulinthat
moment. OnethingIdolikeaboutmypersonalityisthatI’vealwaysbeen
gratefulandevenatthevery,verybeginningof theMis-TeeqdaysInever
took anythingfor granted.I’vealwaysknownhow luckyIwas and I’vejust
lovedeveryminuteof it.1994
THE YEAR ALESHA
TURNS 16- The Church of England
ordains its frst female
priests - The PlayStation video
console is released - Brazil beat Italy on
penalties in the
FIFA World Cup fnal
Star Switch by Alesha Dixon is out now (Scholastic, £6.99)
Interview: Jane Graham @Janeannie
For more interviews see bigissue.com/letter-to-my-youngerself