88 WHAT EVERY BODY IS SAYING
Ventral Denial and Ventral FrontingThese torso displays that reflect the limbic brain’s need to distance and
avoid are very good indicators of true sentiments. When one person in a
relationship feels that something is wrong with the way things are going,
he or she is most likely sensing a subtle degree of physical distancing in
his or her partner. The distancing can also take the form of what I call
ventral denial. Our ventral (front) side, where our eyes, mouth, chest,
breasts, genitals, etc. are located, is very sensitive to things we like and
dislike. When things are good, we expose our ventral sides toward what
we favor, including those people who make us feel good. When things go
wrong, relationships change, or even when topics are discussed that we
disfavor, we will engage in ventral denial, by shifting or turning away.
The ventral side is the most vulnerable side of the body, so the limbic
brain has an inherent need to protect it from the things that hurt or
bother us. This is the reason, for example, we immediately and subcon-
sciously begin to turn slightly to the side when someone we dislike ap-
proaches us at a party. When it comes to courtship, an increase in ventral
denial is one of the best indicators that the relationship is in trouble.
In addition to visual input, the limbic brain can also have a reaction to
conversations we find distasteful. Watch any TV talk show with the vol-
ume off and notice how the guests will lean away from each other as
they present contrary arguments. Not long ago, I was watching the Re-
publican presidential debates and noted that even though the candidates
were spaced quite far apart, they still leaned away from each other when
issues were brought up with which they disagreed.
The opposite of ventral denial is ventral exposure or—as I like to call
it—ventral fronting. We display our ventral sides to those we favor. When
our children come running to us for a hug, we move objects, even our
arms, out of the way so that we can give them access to our ventral sides.
We ventrally front because this is where we feel the most warmth and
comfort. In fact, we use the phrase turning our back to express negativity
toward someone or something, because we offer our ventral sides to
those we care for and our backs to those we don’t.