GETTING A GRIP 163threatened. The behavior suggested to me that the husband was conceal-
ing something. As it turned out, he had been pilfering money from the
couple’s joint checking account to support a gambling habit, a vice that
eventually cost him his marriage. His guilty knowledge of the covert
withdrawals explained the reason his hands withdrew from the table.
Although the motion was a gradual change, it was sufficient to cause me
to suspect that something was wrong.
One of the most important observations you can make in relation to
the hands is noticing when they go dormant. When the hands stop il-
lustrating and emphasizing, it is usually a clue to a change in brain activ-
ity (perhaps because of a lack of commitment) and is cause for heightened
awareness and assessment. Although, as we’ve noted, hand restriction
can signal deception, do not immediately jump to this conclusion. The
only inference you can draw at the moment the hands go dormant is that
the brain is communicating a different sentiment or thought. The change
may simply reflect less confidence or less attachment to what is being
said for a variety of reasons. Remember, any deviation from normal hand
behavior—be it an increase, a decrease, or just something unusual—
should be considered for its significance.
SOME CONCLUDING REMARKS ABOUT
NONVERBALS OF THE HANDS AND FINGERSMost of us spend so much time studying people’s faces that we under-
utilize the information provided by their hands. The sensitive hands of
humans not only feel and sense the world around us, they also reflect our
responses to that world. We sit in front of a banker wondering if our
loan will be approved, with our hands in front of us, fingers intertwined
(prayerlike), reflecting the tension and nervousness within us. Or, in a
business meeting, the hands may assume a steepling position, letting oth-
ers know we are confident. Our hands may quiver at the mention of
someone who betrayed us in our past. Hands and fingers can provide a