210 W H A T EVERY BODY IS SAYING
deception. Your goal is to establish high comfort during the early part of
any interaction or during “rapport building.” This helps you to establish
a baseline of behaviors during that period when the person, hopefully,
does not feel threatened.
Establishing a Comfort Zone for Detecting DeceptionIn pursuing the detection of deception, you must realize your impact on
the actions of a suspected liar, and recognize that how you behave will
affect the other person’s behavior (Ekman, 1991, 170–173). How you ask
the questions (accusingly), how you sit (too close), how you look upon the
person (suspiciously), will either support or disrupt their comfort level. It
is well established that if you violate people’s space, if you act suspicious,
if you look at them the wrong way, or ask questions with a prosecutorial
tone, it negatively intrudes on the interview. First and foremost, unmask-
ing liars is not about identifying dishonesty, but rather it is about how
you observe and question others in order to detect deception. Then, it is
about the collection of nonverbal intelligence. The more you see (clusters
of behavior), the more confidence you can have in your observations, and
the greater your chances for perceiving when someone is being untruth-
ful.
Even if you are actively looking for deception during a discussion or
interview, your role should be neutral, to the extent possible, not suspi-
cious. Remember that the moment you become suspicious, you are af-
fecting how a person will respond to you. If you say, “You are lying” or
“I think you are not telling the truth,” or even simply look at him or her
suspiciously, you will influence the person’s behaviors (Vrij, 2003, 67).
The best way to proceed is just to ask for ever-more clarifying details
about the matter, such as a simple “I don’t understand” or “Can you ex-
plain how that happened again?” Often merely getting someone to ex-
pand on his or her statement will suffice in eventually sorting deceit
from truth. Whether you are attempting to ascertain the validity of
someone’s credentials during an employment interview, the truth about
a theft at work, or especially if you are engaged in a serious discussion