DETECTING DECEPTION 231synchrony, and emphasis to guide us. They are a guide or paradigm,
and that is all.
A person who is not comfortable, not emphasizing, and whose com-
munication is out of synchrony is, at best, communicating poorly or, at
worst, being deceptive. Discomfort may originate from many sources,
including antipathy between those involved in the discussion, the setting
in which the conversation is held, or nervousness during an interview
process. It can also, obviously, be a result of culpability, guilty knowledge,
having to hide information, or plain lying. The possibilities are many, but
now that you know how better to question others, recognize their signs
of discomfort, and the importance of putting their behaviors into con-
text, at least you have a starting point. Only further inquiry, observation,
and corroboration can assure us of veracity. There is no way we can pre-
vent people from lying to us, but at least we can be on guard when they
attempt to deceive us.
Last, be careful not to label someone a liar with limited information
or based on one observation. Many good relationships have been ruined
this way. Remember, when it comes to detecting deception, even the best
experts, including myself, are only a blink away from chance, and have a
fifty-fifty probability of being right or wrong. Plainly put, that’s just not
good enough!