34 WHAT EVERY BODY IS SAYING
or by violating another’s personal space. Threats to our personal space
elicit a limbic response on an individual level. Interestingly, these territo-
rial violations can also create limbic responses on a collective level. When
one country intrudes into the space of another, it often results in economic
sanctions, severing of diplomatic relations, or even wars.
Obviously, it is easy to recognize when someone uses the fight re-
sponse to commit a physical assault. What I want to identify for you are
the not-so-obvious ways in which individuals exhibit some of the more
subtle behaviors associated with the fight response. Just as we have seen
modified expressions of the freeze and flight limbic reactions, modern
decorum dictates that we refrain from acting on our primitive inclina-
tions to fight when threatened.
In general, I advise people to refrain from using aggression (verbal or
physical) as a means of achieving their objectives. Just as the fight response
is the act of last resort in dealing with a threat—used only after the freeze
and flight tactics have proven unworkable—so too should you avoid it
whenever feasible. Aside from the obvious legal and physical reasons for
this recommendation, aggressive tactics can lead to emotional turmoil,
making it difficult to concentrate and think clearly about the threatening
situation at hand. When we are emotionally aroused—and a good fight
will do that—it affects our ability to think effectively. This happens be-
cause our cognitive abilities are hijacked so that the limbic brain can have
full use of all available cerebral resources (Goleman, 1995, 27, 204–207).
One of the best reasons for studying nonverbal behaviors is that they can
sometimes warn you when a person intends to harm you physically, giv-
ing you time to avoid a potential conflict.
COMFORT/DISCOMFORT AND PACIFIERSTo borrow a phrase from the old Star Trek series, the “prime directive” of
the limbic brain is to ensure our survival as a species. It does this by being
programmed to make us secure by avoiding danger or discomfort and
seeking safety or comfort whenever possible. It also allows us to remem-