LIVING OUR LIMBIC LEGACY 41with puffed cheeks to calm ourselves (see figures 10 and 11). If a stressed
person is a smoker, he or she will smoke more; if the person chews gum, he
or she will chew faster. All these pacifying behaviors satisfy the same re-
quirement of the brain; that is, the brain requires the body to do something
that will stimulate nerve endings, releasing calming endorphins in the
brain, so that the brain can be soothed (Panksepp, 1998, 272).
For our purposes, any touching of the face, head, neck, shoulder, arm,
hand, or leg in response to a negative stimulus (e.g., a difficult question,
an embarrassing situation, or stress as a result of something heard, seen,
or thought) is a pacifying behavior. These stroking behaviors don’t help
us to solve problems; rather, they help us to remain calm while we do. In
other words, they soothe us. Men prefer to touch their faces. Women
prefer to touch their necks, clothing, jewelry, arms, and hair.
When it comes to pacif iers, people have personal favorites, some choose
to chew gum, smoke cigarettes, eat more food, lick their lips, rub their
chins, stroke their faces, play with objects (pens, pencils, lipstick, or
watches), pull their hair, or scratch their forearms. Sometimes pacification
is even more subtle, like a person brushing the front of his shirt or adjust-
ing his tie (see figure 12). He appears simply to be preening himself, but in
Cheek or face touching is a way to
pacify when nervous, irritated, or
concerned.Exhaling with puffed out cheeks is a
great way to release stress and to pacify.
Notice how often people do this after a
near mishap.Fig. 10 Fig. 11