GETTING A LEG UP ON BODY LANGUAGE 67splays signal the potential for tempers to flare; thus, whether you find
yourself observing or using this type of nonverbal behavior, you should
be on the alert for possible trouble.
Because people often assume a more splayed posture when an argu-
ment escalates, I tell executives as well as law enforcement officers that
one way to diffuse a confrontation is to avoid using such territorial dis-
plays. If we catch ourselves in a leg-splay posture during a heated ex-
change and immediately bring our legs together, it often lessens the
confrontation level and reduces the tension.
A few years ago, while I was conducting a seminar, a woman in the
audience spoke about how her ex-husband used to intimidate her during
an argument by standing in the doorway of their house, legs splayed,
blocking her exit. This is not a behavior to be taken lightly. It resonates
visually as well as viscerally and can be used to control, intimidate, and
threaten. In fact, predators (e.g., psychopaths, antisocials) often use this
leg-splay behavior in conjunction with eye-gaze behavior to control oth-
ers. As one prison inmate once told me, “In here, it’s all about posture,
how we stand, how we look. We can’t look weak, not for one moment.” I
suspect anywhere we might encounter predators, we should be cognizant
of our posture and stance.
There are, of course, times when a leg splay can be used to your
advantage—specifically, when you want to establish authority and
control over others for a positive reason. I have had to coach female
law enforcement officers to use the leg splay to establish a more ag-
gressive stance when responding to unruly crowds in the line of duty.
Standing with their feet together (which is perceived as submissive)
sends the wrong kind of signal to a would-be antagonist. By moving
their feet apart, the female officers can take a more dominant, “I am
in charge” stance, which will be perceived as more authoritarian and
thus help them be more effective in controlling unruly individuals.
You may want to emphasize to a teenage son how you feel about
smoking not by raising your voice, but rather by using a territorial
display.