GETTING A LEG UP ON BODY LANGUAGE 73the table because it feels good and can be very sexually arousing. Con-
versely, when we don’t like someone or don’t feel close to them, we move
our feet away immediately if they accidentally touch beneath the table. As
a relationship wanes, a very clear sign couples often miss is that there will
be progressively less foot touching of any kind.play with her shoes and dangle them from the tips of her toes when she
feels comfortable with her companion. This behavior will, however,
quickly cease if the woman suddenly feels uncomfortable. A potential
suitor can get a pretty good reading on how things are going based on
this “shoe-play” behavior. If, upon approaching a woman (or after talk-
ing with her for a while), her shoe play stops, she adjusts her shoe back
on her foot, and especially if she follows this by turning slightly away
from the suitor and perhaps gathering up her purse, well, in the lan-
guage of baseball, that suitor has most likely just struck out. Even when
a woman is not touching her suitor with her foot, this type of foot dan-
gling and shoe play is movement, and movement draws attention.
Therefore, this nonverbal behavior says, “Notice me,” which is just the
opposite of the freeze response, and is part of the orienting reflex that is
instinctive and draws us near to the things and people we like or desire
and away from those things we don’t like, don’t trust, or of which we are
not sure.
Seated leg crosses are also revealing. When people sit side by side,
the direction of their leg crosses become significant. If they are on
good terms, the top leg crossed over will point toward the other per-
son. If a person doesn’t like a topic his companion brings up, he will
switch the position of the legs so that the thigh becomes a barrier (see
figures 24 and 25). Such blocking behavior is another meaningful ex-
ample of the limbic brain protecting us. If there is congruence in the
way both parties are sitting and crossing their legs, then there is har-
mony.