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newsletter40 / http://www.learnhotenglish.com / Want to do an internship with Hot English? For more information, e-mail [email protected]NEGOTIATION
NIGHTMARE
Unusual negotiations with street
sellers.
The Hotdog
Jess wants to buy a hotdog from a
street vendor.
Jess: Afternoon. I’ll have one of those
hotdogs, please.
Vendor: Extra cheese and fried onion?
Jess: Yes, please, the full works.
Vendor: Here you go. That’ll be £6, please.
Jess: [She looks for the money in her
wallet.] Oh, no I’ve only got £4
and a bit of loose change.
Vendor: And what am I supposed to do
about that?
Jess: Well, what if I just gave you
everything I’ve got?
Vendor: I can’t run a business like that. If
I started doing favours, I’d soon
be out of a job. Look, there’s a
cashpoint machine over there. I’ll
hold onto your hotdog while you
go over and get some money out.
Jess: Yes, but I haven’t got my debit
card with me. Look, if you took
the onions off, could you drop the
price a bit?
Vendor: You’re joking!
Jess: OK, what about the cheese?
Vendor: How am I supposed to get that
off?
Jess: All right, give me the sausage and
keep the bread and we’ll call it £4.
It’s win-win.
Vendor: No, it isn’t. If I did that, I’d be left
with a bit of used bread.
Jess: OK. Look, if you give me half the
hotdog, I’ll give you £4 – that’s
more than 50% of the price!
Vendor: You must think I’m an idiot.
Jess: OK, what if I give you all my
money, eat the hotdog now, then,
I’ll come back tomorrow and give
you another £4 – that’s more
than £8 you’ll be getting for a £6
hotdog.
Vendor: Oh, all right. Here you go.
But don’t forget to come back
tomorrow.
Jess: I come here every day.
Vendor: Do you?
Jess: You didn’t notice?
Vendor: Can’t say I did. [shouting]
Hotdogs, hotdogs, get your lovely
hotdogs!The Handbag
Janine is looking for a handbag. She’s
at a market stall.
Janine: How much are the handbags?
Vendor: £5 each. But if you buy three, I’ll
do you a special price of £20.
Janine: Hang on. If one handbag costs £5,
how can three cost £20?
Vendor: You drive a hard bargain, madam.
OK. Three handbags for £20
and I’ll throw in these diamond
earrings.
Janine: Diamond earrings! They can’t be
real diamond earrings.
Vendor: And why not?
Janine: If those were real diamond
earrings, you wouldn’t be giving
them away.
Vendor: How do you know?
Janine: Because they’d be worth a lot of
money.
Vendor: Maybe I’m just generous.
Janine: I doubt it.
Vendor: If I was easily offended, I’d be very
upset by that comment.
Janine: Anyway, if those are real diamond
earrings, where did you get them?
Vendor: They belonged to my
grandmother.
Janine: If they were your grandmother’s,
why are you giving them away?
Vendor: If you’d known my grandmother,
you’d understand. She was a very
nasty piece of work.
Janine: This is getting strange. I’m going.Goodbye.
Vendor: OK, your loss. [shouting]
Handbags, handbags, come
and get your handbags! Lovely
handbags!The DVD player
Emma: Erm, those DVD players, are they
legit?
Vendor: What do you mean?
Emma: You know, have they fallen off the
back of a lorry?
Vendor: You calling me a thief?
Emma: No, but I wouldn’t want to get into
trouble, if you know what I mean.
Vendor: Yeah, right!
Emma: So, how much are they?
Vendor: Twenty pounds each.
Emma: Twenty? I’ll give you a tenner.
Vendor: You’re joking. I’d be losing money.
I’m not running a charity here.
Emma: They’re a bit dirty.
Vendor: Well, I’ll clean one for you then.
[He cleans one.] Here, just like
new. All right, you look like a nice
person, £18, and that’s my final
offer.
Emma: How do I know it works?
Vendor: Well, if you take it home and it
doesn’t work, you can bring it back
tomorrow and I’ll replace it for you.
Emma: I don’t know. They don’t even
come in a box. Here, I’ll give you
£12.
Vendor: No, I can’t go any lower than £18.
Emma: Why not split the difference? You
want £18 and I want to pay £12.
Make it £15 and you’ve got yourself
a deal.
Vendor: £16 is my final offer.
Emma: Throw in one of those DVDs and
I’ll walk away a happy woman.
Vendor: OK. Here you go.
Emma: A pleasure doing business with
you.
Vendor: Yeah, right.Travel English eBook
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