The Psychology of Money - An Investment Manager\'s Guide to Beating the Market

(Grace) #1
136 THE CREATIVE INVESTMENT TEAM

Aware Ego: Is there something that Jim could do to make you
feel safer?
Critic: Yes, he could get some more clients. At least try. He’s been
hanging out with his friends and family and letting the market-
ing slide. He needs to keep his eye on the business.
Aware Ego: A marketing plan would make you feel safer?
Critic: Absolutely.

As I developed the ability to simply listen objectively to my
internal critic, some remarkable changes took place. I felt less criti-
cal of myself and others. I began to see all critical attacks as calls
for help. This reframing is particularly helpful in relationships. When
I am tempted to criticize a friend or family member, I can step back
and ask, “What am I feeling frightened about? How am I feeling
vulnerable?” In this way, our own inner critic becomes the spokes-
person for our vulnerability. Listening and attending to these inner
cries for help creates a safe space for us and enhances our capacity
to be creative.
If one takes the time and energy to transform the inner critic,
it can become the inner ally, with the following traits, again para-
phrasing the Stones:


  1. It acts like a positive coach who supports you, makes
    your risk taking safe, and allows you to be creative and
    flowing.

  2. It is impersonal and does not allow you to worry about
    what others will think.

  3. It helps you to set appropriate boundaries.

  4. It is no longer interested in other people’s criticisms, so
    they do not bother you. This helps to free you from the
    fear of shame or humiliation.

  5. Its power gives you greater authority in the world.

  6. It brings you the ability to focus clearly.

  7. As an objective mind, it analyzes events and feelings coolly,
    without making either you or others wrong.


14-25 ware 136 1/19/01, 1:14 PM

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