to go home, Bruce was still taking the punishment. The drill ser-
geants told stories about him, as they continued to up the ante.
Each time they turned up the heat, Bruce responded with more
internal strength.
This same internal strength later saved Bruce’s life when his
helicopter was hit by enemy fire and crashed over Cambodia. His
crew members were all killed, but Bruce managed to jump clear of
the crash, falling about 30 feet and breaking both legs as he landed.
Refusing to give up, he crawled for three days through the desert
with a dislocated eye, broken jaw, and numerous other injuries.
Once he got back to the base, he spent nearly six months in the
hospital in traction.
When Bruce had finished his story, the room full of 60 men
was so quiet you could hear the wind outside. This humble and
soft-spoken man had won everyone’s respect. But his work still lay
ahead. Despite his grim resolve to bear any pain, Bruce had not
revealed what he wanted for himself. His face seemed to say, “I’m
damned, there is no redemption for me. I must simply carry this
burden.” Over the next hour, we worked with Bruce to explore his
ache. Though respectful of the men who had earlier shared their
struggles, Bruce kept repeating his belief that “breaking him down”
wouldn’t help. “Do you want to see me cry?” he said quietly to the
circle of men. “Is that what you want? I don’t see how that will
help.” He still operated from the military paradigm of break them
down, humiliate them, and then rebuild them. We respected his
concerns and told him that this work was for his own benefit, no
one else’s. He could stop anytime he wanted. What was painfully
clear, though, was that nothing had “shifted” for Bruce. He was
stuck. He was just as burdened now as when he arrived on Friday
night. His attitude toward the other men was admirable; he was
genuinely glad for their breakthroughs and transformations. He
just didn’t see any path for himself. I remember thinking, “This
time we failed, the container wasn’t strong enough. He’s not going
to trust it enough to reach down and exorcise his demon.”Creating a Safe Place 14514-25 ware 145 1/19/01, 1:14 PM