The Psychology of Money - An Investment Manager\'s Guide to Beating the Market

(Grace) #1
146 THE CREATIVE INVESTMENT TEAM

But I was wrong. One of the weekend leaders, an ex-military
man himself, nicknamed “Alpha Wolf,” took charge of the facili-
tation. He masterfully guided Bruce through a process of grief,
forgiveness, and acceptance. Alpha Wolf created a container that
was safe enough for Bruce to reveal a Vietnam experience that he
had never before confided to anyone. It seems that one of the
charming tasks he had been assigned during the war was to assess
the condition of wounded villagers. He walked among the writh-
ing, groaning bodies trying to help where he could. Many of them
were so badly injured that there was no hope for recovery. Bruce
knew this and they did, too. He found himself looking into the
eyes of people who begged him to put an end to their misery. In
this sense, they were asking him to play the role of God. In an
attempt to be merciful, Bruce had many times placed his gun against
the temple of a villager and pulled the trigger.
My point in telling this grisly tale is not to shock or depress
you, but rather to emphasize the importance of safety. Bruce re-
vealed this nightmare only because he felt safe and was assured
that the people in the room had his best interests at heart. Safety
is the prerequisite for healing, just as it is the prerequisite for radi-
cal creativity. The Mankind Project leaders have studied the pro-
cess of creating safety and do it as well as anyone.
How?
By creating a sacred space in which people can reveal their whole
selves: all the shining virtues and all the character flaws. This same
model is used by 12-step recovery groups as well. The principle is
simple in theory but extraordinarily difficult in practice, and with
good reason. All of us have felt the sting of betrayal. Someone we
trusted revealed our secret. Someone used our vulnerability against
us. Very quickly, we get smart and learn to set up boundaries—and
we keep those barriers in place until our instinct and intelligence
agree that it is safe to lower them. (Notice I said “lower,” not drop
altogether.)
This process requires time, patience, acceptance, courage, and

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