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38 / http://www.learnhotenglish.com / Want to do an internship with Hot English? For more information, e-mail [email protected]

JOB APPRAISAL
Finding out how things are going.

Conversation I
Steven: Hi.
Boss: Ah, yes, right, come in Steven. Please
sit down.
Steven: Thank you.
Boss: Well, I’m afraid that it hasn’t been a
very successful first term.
Steven: Oh, I thought things were going quite well.
Boss: Well, as you know, you were employed
by the school as a German teacher.
Steven: Erm, as a “Modern Languages”
teacher I think.
Boss: Yes, well, you work in the Modern
Languages Department. However,
you’re here to teach German. So, my
question is, why are you teaching all of
your classes Italian?
Steven: Has someone complained?
Boss: Yes. Quite a few of your students have
complained. So, once again, can you
tell me why you’ve been teaching
Italian and not German?
Steven: Well, to be honest, my German isn’t
very good.
Boss: At the interview you told us that
you have a degree in German from
Cambridge University.
Steven: I’m sure I told you that I have a degree
in modern languages. But I never said
anything about German. After all, I
can’t speak a word.
Boss: Look, this really isn’t good enough.
I’m going to ask you to do a crash
course and I want you teaching
German within two weeks, OK? [fade]

Conversation II
Boss: OK, Julie. Just sit down, and please
stop worrying. It’s only a job appraisal.
Employee: Right. Stop worrying. Stop worrying.
Boss: So, tell me what have you been
up to since you joined us three
months ago.
Employee: Well, I’ve sold 345 pairs of shoes, 267
pairs of socks, 189 pairs of jeans, 301
shirts, 34 suits and a computer.
Boss: A computer? This is a clothes shop,
Julie. We don’t sell computers.
Employee: Well, there was one next to the

cash desk.

Boss: Yes. But that is the computer for

your department. We use it to

record our sales and to order stock.

Employee: So, it wasn’t for sale?

Boss: No.

Employee: Oh. Well, I sold it.

Boss: And when was this?

Employee: Last week. A man bought it for £10.99.

Boss: You sold a computer for £10.99.

Employee: Yes, it was a really good price I thought.

My brother was really pleased.

Boss: So, you sold the computer to your

brother.

Employee: Yes. And I sold the printer to my Dad

for a fiver. Was that a mistake too?

[fades out]

SOCIAL SPLASH (^)
Rich bankers discuss their financial situation.
James: I’ll have the steak. Done rare. And I
do mean rare. And a bottle of claret.
The 67, if you have it.
Hermione: Yes, and I’ll have the salmon with
boiled new potatoes and broccoli.
And please see that the salmon
isn’t overcooked. It was rather dry
last time. So, James, how goes it at
Wagner and Bream? You’ve had rather
a rough time lately, haven’t you?
James: Oh, I wouldn’t say that. Certainly
no worse than things for you guys
at Smollet & Cramp. I hear bonuses
were somewhat slim this year.
Hermione: Far from it.
James: But you only got a million, didn’t you?
Hermione: As far as the tax man is concerned.
But only as far as the tax man is
concerned.
James: My lips are sealed.
Hermione: I heard that you didn’t do very well
with the Hong Kong deal.
James: Absolute nonsense. I did very nicely out
of that little piece of work, I can tell you.
Hermione: Didn’t the company go bankrupt with
1,200 workers being made redundant?
James: Yes, but I still got my $2.4 million in
fees.
Hermione: I should hope so too. You must have
worked for at least three days on that
deal. You deserve something!
James: Perhaps not that long but long
enough, I can tell you. And what’s
been going on with your steel
company in Asia? I heard it closed
down with 50,000 out of work.
Hermione: I haven’t been following the news.
James: Biggest collapse in the steel
industry for twenty five years.
Hermione: Times are hard!
James: I hope you got your commissions.
Hermione: Of course. We made a very nice
profit on the deal, I can assure you.
James: The newspapers weren’t very happy
though, were they?
Hermione: I wouldn’t know. I never read the
papers.
James: I think they described you as a
money-grabbing egomaniac who
makes 18th-century pirates seem
responsible and reasonable in
comparison.
Hermione: Very flattering! Anyway, how’s that
mortgage scheme of yours going?
You were predicting big things for it,
weren’t you?
James: It’s been rather disappointing, to
be honest. A lot of people have
behaved rather badly, I’m afraid.
Hermione: The borrowers didn’t pay you back,
did they?
James: No. I must say, I do think it’s rather
bad to borrow money if you can’t
afford to return it. I never do.
Hermione: So, what happened?
James: Well, obviously we had to make a lot
of people homeless.
Hermione: [sarcastic] What a pity!
James: And we still lost a lot of money on
the deal.
Hermione: [serious] Now that is tragic.
James: Fortunately, the government paid us
back, so no one has really lost anything.
Hermione: [sniggering] Well, apart from the
homeowners and the tax payers.
James: Let’s face it, if you’re stupid enough
to pay tax, you’re asking for trouble.
Hermione: Precisely! So, how’s the new flat in
New York?
James: The decorator has nearly finished.
We hope to pop over for a long
weekend at Easter. But knowing my
luck, it’ll all be... [fades out]
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