THE WALL STREET JOURNAL. Friday, March 13, 2020 |M7
W
hen I was 8, I
was afraid. Ev-
eryone I knew
had a protective
layer that I didn’t
seem to have. As a highly sensitive
kid, I had a soft shell and felt ex-
posed each time I left the house.
I grew up in Burke, Va., a sizable
suburb of Washington, D.C. Both of
my parents worked full time in the
public-school system, so I was in
day care before and after school.
Our house was a 2,000-square-
foot, brick-and-siding split-level
with a long gravel driveway lined
with huge azaleas and six apple
trees.
My dad had planted two beau-
tiful trees in front—one for me
when I was born and one for my
younger sister, Amanda. My tree
stayed short and my sister’s went
for the sky.
Growing up, I shared a room
with Amanda. When we weren’t
fighting, we were inseparable. Ei-
ther we put our beds together to
talk or we drew blood.
I had a security blanket that we
used to share. One day, our battle
for the blankie was so fierce that
my mother cut it in half so we’d
each have our own side. My sister
was overjoyed. I was heartbroken.
My parents first met while
teaching at a local high school. My
father, Dick, began as an English
teacher and a football coach but
soon became an administrator.
My mother, Patti, was a Span-
ish teacher, but eventually became
a guidance counselor.
When I was 10, I began binging
HOUSE CALL|GLENNON DOYLE
A Bitter Struggle
With Her
Self-Image
The ‘Untamed’ author coped with bulimia until she
met retired soccer star Abby Wambachyears later, navigating through
marital difficulties—which pushed
us both into intense work on our-
selves.
My third awakening was meeting
Abby Wambach in 2016. We both
had books out and were attending a
librarian convention. My book was
on my unraveling marriage.
When Abby showed up, some-
thing happened. I saw in her some-
one who never internalized the
stuff I had been trying to shake off.
She seemed so free and strong and
was the kindest person in the room.Glennon Doyle in Falls Church, Va.,
2018, and, below left, with her
parents, Dick and Patti Doyle, and
sister, Amanda, right, at their
Burke, Va., home, circa 1984. Above
right, Abby Wambach, left, with
Ms. Doyle in 2018.I had always thought there was
something different about me. With
Abby, I understood. I didn’t think to
myself, “Oh, I’m gay.” Instead, I just
knew she was my person forever.
Craig and I divorced amicably
in 2016, and Abby and I married
in 2017.
Today, Abby and I live in Na-
ples, Fla. We moved into a con-
temporary house on a canal off
the Gulf of Mexico two years ago.
Our house has a large family
room on the main floor and the
bedrooms are upstairs. Our three
kids and their friends hang out at
our house, which was my dream.
In 1994, when I went off to col-
lege, I took my half-blankie. Then
the fraternity next door stole it as a
prank. When I went home on spring
break, my father surprised me.
Before I left for college, he had
cut a swatch off the blanket and
framed it, inserting a card that
read, “In case of emergency, break
glass.” That meant so much to me.
Now I keep it on the wall in my
home office.
—As told to Marc MyersGlennon Doyle, 43, is an author
and the founder and president of
Together Rising, a nonprofit that
supports women and families in
crisis. Her latest book is “Un-
tamed” (Dial Press), a memoir. FROM LEFT: DOYLE FAMILY; AMY PAULSON; JORDAN STRAUSS/INVISION/ASSOCIATED PRESSand purging. I had the idea after
watching “Kate’s Secret,” a TV
movie with Meredith Baxter about
a suburban woman struggling
with bulimia.
Up until then, I had been petite
and beautiful with big eyes and
ringlets of hair down to my waist.
When I hit 10, I felt heavy and un-
attractive. I needed not to be fat.
As my bulimia worsened a few
years later, my dad refinished the
basement with a bedroom so that
Amanda and I didn’t have to share
our small room anymore.
I moved into the basement room
and all hell broke loose. I was iso-
lated and lonely down there. I had
too much freedom and got lost in
myself. In the 1980s, we under-
stood mental health
very differently. My par-
ents knew something
was wrong, that I was
somehow broken. But
we didn’t know what to
do about it.
I felt under assault
from every direction. In
my senior year of high
school, I checked into a
local clinic that was part
of a larger mental facil-
ity. I loved it.
After a month, I was
thrust back into the
real world. Nothing got
better. The clinic had been a brief
safe zone.
College at James Madison Uni-
versity was a bit of a mess for me.
I majored in English, but it took me
five years to graduate in 1999. I
had trouble with alcohol and drugs.After college, I had three life-
changing events. The first came in
2002, when I discovered I was
pregnant with the first of my three
children. I became sober, and my
husband, Craig, and I got married.
My second awakening came 10GLENNON’S GLEE
Favorite place?With Abby
aboard our 25-foot boat on the
Gulf of Mexico.
Why?Out there, no one is the
boss of us. It feels free and
beautiful.
How has Abby
changed you?
She’s made
me un-
ashamed.
What did
she teach
you?That I’m
completely lovable
exactly as I am.
And your ex?He’s the kindest
person I know after Abby.
What does Abby love most
about you?My fire and cour-
age, and my faith.New Jersey
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