The Washington Post - 14.03.2020

C2 eZ re K THE WASHINGTON POST.SATURDAy, MARCH 14 , 2020

Could the virus actually cure some of our interpersonal ail- ments? Social disasters can build social capital, says Alexander Ha- lavais, an associate professor in Arizona State University’s School of Social and Behavioral Sciences. People will share resources and propagate information in a viral manner, like the hand-washing meme that captions panels show- ing the 20-second sanitation pro- cess with the lyrics o f your f avorite pop song. Neighbors may start to behave more neighborly. Bike lanes will fill as bus ridership dwindles. People will cook at home, w ork a t home, but t hey may reach out more. maybe we’ll flatten the c urve t ogether. maybe t hat will make us feel more connected. “We think of the skills we need during a disaster as whatever’s on the p repper shows,” Halavais s ays, “but really it’s those kinds of things: being able to organize space and time, which people will find challenging but might last beyond the pandemic.” The bad news accelerated Wednesday night into Thursday. President Trump declared a 30-day restriction on European travelers. In Australia, Tom Hanks and rita Wilson announced that they tested positive for coronavirus. The Na- tional Basketball Association and National Hockey League suspended their seasons. The state of ohio closed its schools for three weeks. Broadway has gone dark through April 12. Thursday was the stock market’s worst day since 1987. Dis- neyland is closing for only the fourth time in its history. Gathering places are a public- health risk. Say goodbye to confer- ences and concerts. Spring break and spring training: poof. We m ust do without from within. We will become more aware of space and less aware of time. It’s d isorienting. Perhaps it can be reorienting, as rabbi Yosef Kanefsky suggested on the facebook page of his Los Ange- les congregation, B’nai David- Judea. “The very last thing we need right now is a mindset of mutual distancing,” the rabbi wrote. “We actually need to be thinking in the exact opposite way. Every hand that we don’t s hake must become a phone call that we place. Every embrace that we avoid must become a verbal expression of warmth and concern. Every inch and every foot that we physically place between ourselves and another must become a thought as to how we might help that other, should the need arise.” He concluded by saying: “Let’s stay safe. And let’s draw one another closer in a way that we’ve never done before.” [email protected]

monica Hesse contributed to this report.

postponed the 2020 Helen Hayes Awards, planned for may 18, to a date in late A ugust. The Phillips Collection will close its 21st Street NW museum and satellite space, Phil- lips@THEArC, from Saturday through April 3. The American University museum has canceled all of its spring exhibitions and will close from Saturday through June 12. The Walters Art museum in Baltimore will close Saturday through t he end of march, and the Baltimore museum of Art will close march 16-31 and cancel all public programs t hrough April 12. Arts leaders are bracing for a significant financial hit from the virus outbreak, and not just because of the cancellations. “A ll of our advance sales have come to a halt,” Boland said. “That will have as much of an impact as these canceled p erformances.” “We are really hoping our audi- ences will consider, if they don’t attend the show, donating their tickets back,” she continued. “Not asking for a refund right now is a really significant way to support theaters.” pe [email protected]

march 16-22, although it could be longer. T he International Spy museum will close monday through at l east march 27. W olf Trap has postponed all performances and classes until march 31, including concerts by rodney Crowell and Aoife o’Donovan and a four-night appearance by The Second City comedy troupe. The National museum of the marine Corps in Triangle, Va., will close temporarily beginning Sat- urday, as will the Weinberg C enter in frederick, md. T he Choral Arts Society of Washington is postponing two performances of the march 28 program, “music by Women on a mission,” p lanned for Live! at 1 0th and G. Information about a new date will come in the near future, officials s aid. round House Theatre in Bethesda has postponed “Cost of Living” by martyna majok, set to run April 1-19, u ntil September. All of its education programs from monday to April 2 are suspended. Studio Theatre will suspend its production of “Pass over” o n monday and close the theater until April 1. TheatreWashington has

are going to be paid, at least in the short term, she s aid. The museum will continue sell- ing tickets for April through June admission and will work to add content to its website. “We’re going to try to help families and children while we’re closed,” she said. “families need us now more than ever.” The Hirshhorn announced friday it would delay the April opening of “one With Eternity: Yayoi Kusama in the Hirshhorn Collec- tion.” T he H irshhorn, and all of the Smithsonian museums, close temporarily as of S aturday. “We anticipate the exhibition will now tentatively open in June. We look forward to welcoming you back to the museum to cele- brate this exhibition and will be sure to keep you apprised as more information becomes available,” Hirshhorn Director melissa Chiu wrote to patrons in announcing the c hange. other cancellations and post- ponements are unfolding as government officials continue to dis- courage m ass gatherings. The museum of the Bible announced friday that it will close to the public

April 21 and will have a shortened, three-week run, and “much Ado About Nothing” w ill be postponed until n ext season. Just two weeks after the long- awaited reopening of the N ational Children’s museum, the STEm-fo- cused attraction is closing temporarily because of covid-19. Presi- dent and C Eo C rystal Bowyer said the museum is following the lead of Washington’s public schools, which announced on friday that they would be closing classrooms through t he end o f the month. The museum’s temporary s hut d own i s open-ended. “I just think it’s too fluid,” Bow- yer said of the situation, noting that announcing a reopening that isn’t guaranteed might only further disappoint i ts y oung v isitors. Bowyer’s decision came after sellout weekends since feb. 24, when the museum finally opened to the public after missing its planned November debut. She ac- knowledged that this is a delicate time for the museum. “I’m terrified [about] the situation financially for t he i nstitution, but especially our employees,” Bowyer said. full-time employees

performance on Sunday. The production is expected to return to the stage march 31 and complete its s cheduled run through April 1 2. “Celia and fidel” is performed in Arena’s Kogod Cradle, which has about 250 seats, a number significantly smaller than the government threshold. By opening this weekend, the theater will be able to record a performance that it hopes to be a ble to share with i ts subscribers. “We are governed by ‘the show must go on’ until it may not go on. We h aven’t b een t old it may not go on,” E xecutive Producer Edgar Do- bie said. However, audience no- shows were at a higher rate than normal, so the decision was made to suspend performances for two weeks. “We’re sensing the anxiety about gathering.” After D.C. mayor muriel E. Bowser declared mass gatherings of 250 s hould be canceled, officials at the Shakespeare Theatre Com- pany decided friday to cancel re- maining performances of “The Amen Corner” a nd “Timon of A th- ens” and close its theaters until April 19. The musical “romantics Anonymous” is postponed until

Adapted from an online discussion.

dear carolyn: for a few weeks last year, my husband and I were pretty sure we were going to get a divorce and shared that fact with a select few people (who in turn spread the news to basically our entire family and social circle). Then we found out I was pregnant and changed course — therapy, complete relationship overhaul, the works. The baby is here now, and on the whole we are happier than I thought it was possible for us to be. I consider it a win, but a number of people close to us do not; they either believe we “gave up,” or think one of us masterminded the pregnancy on purpose to trap the other. I’m exhausted by all the effort that goes into defending our relationship these days. How do we get everyone out of our business, or convince them we are happy, so they should be happy for us? — Maryland

Maryland: I’m exhausted by all these people exhausting you by getting so far into your business. Trapping? Seriously, people. “We’re accepting applications for people to be happy for us.” or, “We’re happy. I’m sorry to disappoint everyone.” “We’re happy. feel free to start that rumor.” Ehhhhh, too defensive, probably. “our marriage has come a long way. I wish our friends weren’t stuck in our past.” or just: “It’s a second chance, and I’m/we’re thrilled”... and no further discussion. or the full answer, once, to anyone who really matters to you: “The only unhappy part of our marriage right now, truly, is that people won’t stop questioning

whether we’re happy. I’d prefer it if you’d trust us, but if that’s not possible, then your dropping it would be enough for me. Will you honor that request? If not, then why not?” Listen, respond and finish it. Any naysaying beyond this gets your back as you walk away.

dear carolyn: I’ve been dating a guy for about a year, and so far it’s gone really well. I love him and he loves me. falling in love with him was totally unexpected for me, I guess because we’re so different? Essentially none of the same interests, vastly different life experiences, families, education levels. But it’s been great so far — we laugh all the time, he is by far the kindest person I’ve ever dated, and time spent with him is so easy and natural. maybe this sounds silly, but sometimes I worry all those differences will eventually catch up with us. What if eventually we run out of things to talk about, or the googly eyes of early love wear off and I’m with a guy who I don’t feel I can relate to? I’m sure we could find some common hobby or interest, but I think we’re also pretty content doing our own things right now. Is this a normal thing to worry about? Do I just have to wait and see? — Significant Other With Vastly Different Interests

significant other With Vastly different Interests: Waiting and seeing sounds lovely. What you’re doing now, by the way, is relating to him (with an endorphin assist). Interests in common are one way to get that, but hardly the only one.

Write to carolyn Hax at [email protected]. get her column delivered to your inbox each morning at wapo.st/haxpost.

 Join the discussion live at noon fr idays at live.washingtonpost.com

Sorry, but we’re happy

Carolyn Hax

nIcK galIfIanaKIs for tHe WasHIngton Post

Day. office space is becoming just
that. Employees are hauling out es-
sential equipment as they say to
co-workers, merrily and warily, “see
you in April!” — as if this thing will
be fixed by then.
“I’m having a hard t ime keeping
track o f what day it is.”
Chase Burns, 27, has been self-
quarantined in his Seattle apart-
ment since monday of last week,
when he popped a 103-degree fever.
This week he began to feel better,
walked to a bookstore to look for
Albert Camus’s “The Plague” (for a
book club), b ut scurried home when
a coughing fit overtook him and
people began to stare daggers.
Burns doesn’t k now whether h e has
coronavirus because, like many
Americans, he wasn’t able to get a
test. So each cough, every chill,
could either be a symptom or a feint.
flu? Common cold? Allergies?
or is i t, i n fact, coronavirus?
“You definitely feel like you’re
not on the same page as everyone
else,” says Burns, an editor, about
the surreality of self-isolation and
uncertain s ickness. “ I think every-
one is experiencing this crisis at a
different rhythm. It seems like
since last monday we’re in this
weird vacuum. I t hink t hat’s going
to go o n for a while.”
Around lunchtime Tuesday, a
masked couple queued for a ca-
shier at the Whole foods in river-
dale Park, md. The cashier’s eyes
darted to them. “I told them, I
don’t do the masked people,” she
said, “so I’m out the door.” The
cashier abandoned the register at
a race-walk, then sprinted
through t he produce section.
We have been told to stay away
from each other, and the space be-
tween is being filled by suspicion.
We are sneering at strangers for
coughing, or apologizing to strang-
ers for sneezing. “Social distancing”
is the fashionable term, because
“quarantine” is straight out of the
scary movies that have prepared us,
at least theatrically, for this mo-
ment. (In Netflix’s “Trending Now”
category this week: “outbreak,” the
1995 thriller.) We’ve been social dis-
tancing for centuries, sometimes by
force. In the middle Ages, we put
lepers into asylums and strapped
them with bells and wooden clap-
pers so we could hear them ap-
proach. During the Spanish flu pan-
demic of 1918, parades that weren’t
canceled turbocharged the infec-
tion. In a dvance of the 1918 midterm
elections Sen. Albert Bacon fall
(r-N.m.) suspended his campaign
because two of his children were
dead of the flu.

dIstAnce from c1

A world of

changes

to run until march 29.
“ In a way the decision was a
little less clear. We thought maybe
we could keep it going,” Boland
said, noting government officials
were setting limits on 1,000 or
more gatherings. “But in the last
48 hours the situation has
changed substantially.”
Signature’s Stephen Sondheim
Award Gala — this year honoring
actress-comedian C arol Burnett —
has b een pushed back from April 6
to June 29. And its next produc-
tion, the world premiere musical
“Camille Claudel” will open on
April 1, a week later than original-
ly scheduled, and will have the
same four-week run.
Arena Stage will open its world
premiere of Eduardo machado’s
“Celia and fidel” on friday as
scheduled but will suspend the
run and close the building after a

closIngs from c1

Closures

abound

mentally isolate ourselves.” Nevertheless, there’s been panic. There’s been a run on hand sanitiz- er, on toilet paper, on masks. The stock market is having a fit. Sports associations have suspended seasons and canceled tournaments. Jets are flying without passengers. mass layoffs have begun. The Na- tional Guard is in New rochelle, N.Y. Hospitals are not ready. Schools are not ready. The economy is not ready. Poor people and old people are not ready. Parents are not ready for their liberated schoolchildren, and schoolchildren are not ready for their work-from-home parents. There are horror stories from Italy and Iran: not enough v entila- tors, t oo many corpses. Stateside? Perhaps the calm before the storm. on Thursday morning, at a Giant food store in Hyatts- ville, a man in his mid-30s was buying six boxes of Entenmann’s doughnuts a nd a case of Pepsi. “If I’m going down,” he said, “I’m going down happy.” In a writing class at the Universi- ty of Wisconsin at madison, fresh- men were in the “inconvenience phase” of the pandemic. The school is suspending “face-to-face instruc- tion” starting march 23. A teenag- er’s world, already so virtual, will become even more so. Now seeing a friend from the dorm is going to take a 40-minute car ride instead of a four-step walk across the hall. “It’s going to feel like work, like a job, rather than a community, or a task,” said Angelina mico, 18, of finishing the semester online. “Doing it virtually encourages the bare minimum.” Let’s be honest: We’ve been growing apart for decades. High- speed Internet long ago helped us isolate physically even as we “con- nect” virtually. We are spread out and shut in. many of us can stream anything, order anything, conjure a friendly face on our phone in an instant. Virtual communities are well-established, so the real win- ners of this pandemic may be the redditors, the World of Warcraft- ers, the amateur porn-trepreneurs.

Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders canceled campaign events and made their own virus-related re- marks, presaging a change in society that’s already underway. “It’s going to mean making some radi- cal changes in our behavior,” Biden said. The pandemic is going to be “profoundly disturbing to a lot of the ways that we live our lives,” G ov. Jay Inslee (D-Wash.) said. on Wednesday n ight, President Trump addressed the nation from the oval office. Behind him were photos of his father, fred Trump, whose own father died of the 1918 pandemic. “We are all in this together,” the president said. Then on Thursday he said: “We need a little separation.” That’s the paradox. To mitigate, we must collaborate. To collaborate, we must separate. one nation, under quarantine, trying to “flatten the curve.” T hat’s another bit of terminology: flattening the curve, like rationing in the ’40s, is the new wartime footing. If the X axis is time and the Y axis is the number o f coronavirus cases, the bell curve of infection should be as rounded as possible, to allow the health-care system to cope and keep pace. flattening the curve requires social distancing, washing hands and a reconsideration of the ways your hands interact with your face. This week microbiologist Siouxsie Wiles spread an animated graphic on Twitter that shows the flattening of the curve and the mantra “Don’t p anic but be careful.” “The movies and the books and all of these shows we watch — when they’re of a n apocalypse sce- nario, the f irst thing y ou d o is load your guns and hoard your r esourc- es,” s aid Wiles, a n associate professor at the University of Auckland. “But research shows communities who survive bad experiences are the ones who put their guns down and work together. I’m trying to push that message here: This is not going to be ‘mad max.’... We can self-isolate physically, but that doesn’t mean that we have to

sPencer Platt/agence france-Presse/getty Images the new normal? Workers clean a subway station in Brooklyn as new York city confronts the coronavirus outbreak this week.

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The Washington Post - 14.03.2020

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