Writers\' Forum - 04.2020

(Darren Dugan) #1

T


his month I’d like
to cover humour in
stories. I don’t only
want to talk about
funny tales but how to use
humour in stories that are not
necessarily comedic.
Humour is a part of our
lives; we use it, intentionally
or unintentionally, in our
everyday interactions. Even
in terrible circumstances,
people joke with one another
or ind something to laugh at.
In iction, a few moments of
humour can make characters
and situations seem more
realistic and deepen our
connection with them.
Eileen Dixon’s The Haunting
of Bear Ford Bridge has so
much going for it. Characters,
dialogue, humour, settings



  • but the storyline peters of
    from the midway point and so
    doesn’t have a payof.
    The story centres around
    Walter Grimshaw, recently
    deceased. The opening to
    Eileen’s story sets the scene
    very well and promises much
    humour.


Walter Grimshaw slowly
exhaled what would be his last ever
breath.
After a few seconds had passed,
he opened his eyes and looked
around the familiar, yet different,
living room. Everything looked
clearer, brighter than it had in
years. Sort of HD vision.
‘I’m dead, aren’t I?’ he said to
the woman standing by the door.
She nodded. ‘Sorry.’
‘Bugger. It’s pension day an’ all.
Who are you, then? Death?’ He
looked the woman up and down.
‘Shouldn’t you be wearing black?
Or white?’


‘I’m a collector,’ she said. ‘No
dress code that I know of. Anyway,
at least my jeans are clean.’

From here, she whisks him
of to the next phase of his
existence.

Rope lanes zig-zagged back and
forwards from the back of the room
where people queued in pairs,
collectors on the left and new
arrivals on the right. Walter and
whats-her-name joined the back
of the queue.
‘Is this Heaven? What are
we queuing for?’ He looked at
the collector. ‘And what is your
name?’
‘No, it’s the Afterworld. To
see the Allocator and the name’s
Tr u d y.’
‘What’s an Alligator do?’
‘Allocator. He allocates where
you’ll be working.’
‘Working? Oh, no no no. Bad
arthritis you see. Haven’t worked
in years.’

The dialogue is light and
funny and it’s very easy to
picture the scene. At this
point readers feel they are in
for a treat. A feeling which is
enhanced when Walter is told
by the Allocator where he will
be based for his irst haunt.

‘Bear Ford Bridge.’ It wasn’t a
question but he waited for Walter
to conirm he knew it.
‘Proposed to the Mrs there.
Went back a few times then the
bugger went and left me.’
‘That will be your irst post.’ He
ignored Walter’s tale of woe and
handed him a lealet. On one side
was the dos and don’ts of haunting
but it was the other side – a list of
rules – which took his attention.

‘Being dead is so complicated,’
he muttered. ‘Let’s see if I have
this right. I’m expected to appear
to the Living Folk between the
hours of...’ he checked the lealet,
‘midnight and ive am, every day,
except Wednesday.’
‘Correct.’
‘On a bridge, in all weather.’
‘You’re a ghost,’ the Allocator
reminded him.

The feeling I had at this
point was one of anticipation.
What would Walter get up to?
How would this cantankerous
character react? In other words,
I was excited to see where the
plot would take me.

What happened next?
Unfortunately, little occurs
after this excellent set-up.
Eileen has created a wonderful

character in the grumpy ghost
of Walter. Trudy is also well
crafted, but Eileen doesn’t use
either to their full potential.
In the story Walter is sent
of to haunt the bridge, which
is little used. He gradually gets
used to being a ghost. All is
well until it starts to rain. He
asks for a transfer to a nice dry
spot, but is turned down.
One particularly wet and
miserable night local resident
Gemma Parks is crossing
the bridge and almost walks
through Walter. He gives a
half-hearted attempt to scare
her. She complains at his lack
of efort and he explains his
misery is caused by the weather.
The next time Walter turns
up to haunt he inds Gemma
has left him her umbrella with
a note: Hope this helps. Then

Funny you should say that...


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