Writers\' Forum - 04.2020

a shoe, an electron, a colour, a mood, a
cloud or a musical note and do the same
I am... and I am not... exercises from
that perspective. Really live your chosen
perspective, and again censor nothing.

All in the detail

Whichever narrative stance you select,
to stop your poem from becoming just
a list I suggest you choose one of the
things you are or are not and spend some
time exploring that in more detail. Try to
answer what, how, why and when.
Whether you begin the fi rst line of
each of your three stanzas with I am or I
am not, you will obviously need to think
carefully about the word that follows,
ie the fi rst word of each stanza that will
be diff erent to other people’s.
Does the word you choose describe:

■A physical feature: fat, tall, bald, bruised,
varnished, peeled, embroidered
■An unseen characteristic: deaf, Welsh,
hollow, anaemic, divorced
■A feeling or emotion: tired, lonely, scared,
hopeful
■A sensation: drunk, shaking, sat on, crushed
■A location: in a cave, on a tram, under a
table, by a statue, up a telegraph pole

Whatever word you choose, ensure that
it creates as much impact as possible and
sets the poem on its way without cliché or
over-sentimentalisation.
And please... please... if, when you
have completed your poem, you feel it
needs a supporting explanation, return
to your poem and see how you can clarify
or reveal whatever may be lacking. Check
that every word is pulling its weight and
have no hesitation in removing obscurity
and unnecessary repetition.
Ensure the reader is given every
opportunity to fully understand and
engage with the narrative.

with poetry editor

Sue Butler

POETRY WORKOUT

Get technical. Be clear and concise, precise, exact. Consider the

consequences if you confuse or mislead your reader.

1

Write clear instructions for putting together an item of fl at-packed

furniture. Use end-line rhyme.

2

Use eight non-rhyming couplets to explain in detail how something

works (and maybe what to do if it doesn’t) – eg, a grandfather clock,

a trombone, detergent, a wheelbarrow, scissors, dye, a forklift truck.

3

Write a poem narrated by an extendable ladder.

4

Compose a piece of free-verse about a machine not yet invented.

What are its pros and cons. How does it change people’s lives?

POETRY

EXPERIMENT

An effi cient boiler

In the four years that he had driven her he had come to love his engine. He had

driven others, docile ones and stubborn ones, brave ones and idle ones. Each had

its own character and some weren’t worth much, just as some women weren’t,

and if he loved his Lison it was because she had the rare quality of a really good

woman. She was gentle, obedient, a good starter and a splendid runner. They said

that her starting qualities were due to the excellence of her metal-tyred wheels

and the perfect working of her valves, and that the quality of steam she procured

on the least possible fuel was due to the quality of her copper-tubing and an

effi cient boiler. But he knew it was something more than that: other machines of

identical construction, assembled with the same care, had none of these qualities.

In the construction of an engine there was something mysterious, a soul, a

something that came from the way the metal was beaten and each separate vital

part set in place by master hands, that gave the machine its personality, its life.

He loved her, too, because she earned him extra money in fuel-bonuses, she

was a great saver of coal. He had only one complaint against her; she needed

greasing too often, particularly her cylinders.

The Beast in Man (published 1890), Émile Zola

While we might, in this day and age, disagree with what makes a ‘really

good woman’ and perhaps cringe slightly at such an obvious sexual

undercurrent, it is probably fair to say that, as poets, there is a lot to learn

from this piece of descriptive writing.

So this month, your experiment is to write about a machine in terms of

having human-like features and qualities, temperament and predilections,

tendencies and peccadilloes. Experiment also with a relationship between

a living creature and a machine or an inanimate object.

Try writing from both the point of view of the machine and the living

creature.

You can contact Sue at [email protected]

How to enter

Turn to page 53 for details of how to pay

and how to enter this month’s contest.