10 LISTENER MARCH 7 2020
BACK TO BLACK
Bananas in pyjamas
People in rural
areas do notwant to be
told by those
in Wellingtonwhat they can
and cannot do.I
n a slow part of the second day
of the first cricket test between
India and New Zealand at the
Basin Reserve, I found distraction
watching a man in the crowd who
stood out for being rotten drunk
and because he was wearing floral
pyjamas. Perhaps he came to the
ground always intending to make a
spectacle of himself. I doubt that he
remembers.
At one point, I was sure he had
drunk his last beer, because the co-
ordination required to get the plastic
glass to his mouth was becoming
difficult. However, just as
I thought that, his mates
arrived with another round.
He downed his glass and
started on the next. Not
long after, he staggered away
towards the hospitality sec-
tion carrying a drinks tray.
I assumed he would never
make it, and if he did, not
be served, but 10 minutes
later he was weaving his way
back, somehow retaining
most of the beer in the cups.
I became worried about how
his day would end and did
not have to wait long to
find out.
I had moved away and
was looking down when I
suddenly heard shouts of
“run, run!” Thinking a New
Zealand batsman was about
to be run out, I looked up toWhen someone’s
getting blind drunk
in public, what
should we do?
LE
O^
CU
LL
UM
/T
HE
C
AR
TO
O
N^
BA
NK
“I don’t bug you about your catnip.
Don’t bug me about my martinis.”see the man in the floral pyjamas sprinting across
the outfield, pursued by a security guard. He was
brought down quickly and escorted off the pitch.
The security guards on each side of him may have
been helping him walk, rather than restraining
him. The last I saw of them, he was being marched
away to scattered applause and a standing ova-
tion from a few people who were pleased to have
witnessed some action.
Not long after, a message came up on the big
screen reminding patrons that pitch invasions
could result in thousands of dollars in fines or
imprisonment.
I hope neither fate befell the man in the floral
pyjamas. He was failed – by his own will, by his
friends and by apparently being served alcohol
when anyone could have seen that he had already
drunk far too much.
I think about him now with a sense of self-
recrimination, because I, like everyone around him,
did nothing to intervene when he was beyond
helping himself. I do not excuse or condone public
drunkenness, but sometimes I pity it.I
t is unusual for me to sign a
petition, because I am not by
nature a joiner of things and also
because if I want to complain, I will
do it myself. However, I have signed
Forest & Bird’s petition calling for
the management of the whitebait
fishery. At least, I think that’s what
it called for. That’s another problem
with petitions – remembering what
it was that you signed.
Conservation Minister Eugenie
Sage is correct that whitebaiting is
part of New Zealand culture. She
is also right that, by implication,
finding the balance between the
overfishing that occurs now and the
need to preserve the species – the
whitebait that is, not the whitebait-
ers – will not be easy.
We can all understand that people
in rural areas do not want to be
told by those in Wellington what
they can and cannot do.
Actually, here in Welling-
ton we do not necessarily
like being told what we
can and cannot do, either,
but there are usually fewer
work opportunities in rural
areas, so additional restric-
tions have a significant
economic impact.
Forest & Bird is among
conservation groups that
often oppose commercial
opportunities on grounds
of environmental protec-
tion. This is one of those
challenges that counts.
Some of the other bat-
tles – because people don’t
like mountain bikes or the
noise of helicopters, for
example – need to be let
go, because rural lifestyles
deserve protection, too. lJOANNE
BLACK
IN WELLINGTON