2020-03-07 New Zealand Listener

52 LISTENER MARCH 7 2020

BOOKS&CULTURE

by MICHELE HEWITSON

L

ady Anne Glenconner,

now in her late eighties

and living quietly and

happily in Norfolk, can

measure out her earlier

life in parties. The guest lists

were a who’s who of toffs and

celebrities: Mick and Bianca Jagger,

David Bowie, Raquel Welch and

various aristocrats. And, often, Princess

Margaret, Glenconner’s lifelong friend and

boss; she was one of the Princess’ ladies-in-

waiting until Margaret’s death in 2002.

The parties were held on the Carib-

bean island of Mustique, which had

been bought by Glenconner’s swine of a

husband, Colin, Lord Glenconner, who

was immensely rich and horrid. On the

second night of the couple’s honeymoon

in Paris, he took his new and innocent

bride to a seedy hotel to watch two people

having sex. When asked if they would care

to join in, Glenconner, a well-brought-up

aristocrat, said: “That’s very kind of you,

but no thank you.” She might have been

declining a cup of tea.

Glenconner has written a memoir:

Lady in Waiting: My Extraordinary Life in

the Shadow of the Crown. She wrote it, she

has said, because she was “so fed up with

people writing such horrible things about

Princess Margaret”.

She loved Margaret, who was possibly

her greatest friend, although to those of

us who have no experience of aristocratic

or royal ways, it appears an odd sort of

friendship. The Princess, even Lady Glen-

conner admits, could be very grand and,

when bored, which was often, rude and

haughty. And it seems

incomprehensible to those

of us from the uncouth colonies

that one would have to curtsey to a friend

and call her ma’am.

But the two were united by the fact of

their unhappy marriages, although the

stiff upper-crust lip meant that such things

were not discussed. Margaret was

married to photographer

Anthony Armstrong-

Jones, who really seemed

to hate her. He habitu-

ally hid vile notes for

her to discover, includ-

ing one that read:

“You look like a Jewish

manicurist.”

Anne’s husband was a

cheat – “it was an aristo-

cratic curse. Affairs were

expected and wives just worked around

it” – and a bully and a baby. He was as

famous for his temper as for his parties

and was banned for life by British Airways

after throwing an epic tantrum on a plane

when he was denied access to first class.

He was a show-off and a showman. He

once bought an elephant and had the

poor creature shipped to his Carib-

bean island.

The couple had three sons and

two daughters. Their first son,

Charlie, who was for many

years a heroin addict, died

of hepatitis C. Second son

Henry died of Aids at the

age of 29. (Colin told his

wife about his diagnosis

at one of his grand

parties. The party, and

its hostess, carried on.)

Youngest son Chris-

topher spent months

in a coma and years

learning how to walk

again after a motorbike

crash.

The marriage lasted

until Colin’s death. It

was 54 years of hell, but

Anne was a stickler for

convention. She writes

Lady and

the scamp

Anne Glenconner,

friend and lady-in-

waiting to Princess

Margaret, emerges

from the shadows.

During the couple’s

honeymoon in Paris,

he took his new

and innocent bride

to a seedy hotel to

watch two people

having sex.

G
ET

TY

IM

AG

ES