2019-04-01 Women's Health

APRIL 2019

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The Company

Creators

Samantha Abrams and

Ian Gaffney, cofounders of

Emmy’s Organics

Samantha and Ian had been

dating for less than a year

when, after playing chef with

Ian’s recipe for gluten-free,

vegan coconut cookies, the

two decided to sell their treats

at a farmers’ market. A decade

later, their love child, Emmy ’s

Organics, is sold in 20,000

stores nationwide, with

Samantha leading marketing

and Ian overseeing operations.

Spending their 9-to-5 making

business decisions and 5-to-9

doing everything else, they’ve

mastered communication.

BEST ADVICE When your part-

ner mentions a relationship

hang-up, consider them an

expert of their own feelings—

and think of those feelings as

facts, not opinions. “I trust Ian

on business matters because

he’s just as informed as I am,”

Samantha says. “So for per-

sonal things, I remind myself

to trust that he knows himself

best too.” Respecting your

S.O.’s feelings as their realit y

helps quiet your own thoughts,

allowing you to really listen,

explains Carmichael. (Exam-

ple: If he says he needs more

time with his friends, don’t

count up every bro night he’s

had or assume he wants less

QT with you.) Even if you

don’t agree, feelings deserve

validation. So make sure you

grasp them: In an empathetic

tone, say, “What I understand

you to be saying is X,” Carmi-

chael suggests. That way, you

can clear up any miscommu-

nication, resolve the issue,

and move on.

The (Sort of) Competitive

Comrades

Adrian Ballinger and Emily Harrington

For Emily, a professional rock climber, and

Adrian, a world-class mountaineer, being in

the same place for more than a few months at

a time is rare. Still, they’ve managed to stay

together—happily so!—for seven years, having

found the perfect balance between prioritiz-

ing their individual growth and the relation-

sh ip’s. Wh i le t hey a ren’t d i re c t r iva l s i n t hei r

respective sports, they do have opposing

sponsors, which makes the day-to-day a little

more c ompl ic ate d. S t i l l, t hey t r a i n a nd cl i mb

toget her a s much a s p os sible, cha l leng i ng t he

traditional definition of teammates.

BEST ADVICE Honesty is a daily practice that’s

best built with the tiniest of things. “If I’m on

the keto diet, I’ll text Emily if I eat a cookie,”

says Adrian. “If one of us is offered a trip, we tell

the other right away instead of fully consider-

ing it first,” adds Emily. “Hav ing ever y t hing out

in the open as early as possible gives us oppor-

t unities to suppor t each ot her rat her t han rea-

sons to be upset.” Carmichael agrees: Mutual

transparency helps you get on the same page,

fosters accountability, and creates intimacy. To

build it, she recommends showing your part-

ner this tip (yes, flag this actual page). “You are

revealing in real time, ‘I want this; do you?’ ”

Then you can discuss areas for improvement.