10 8 / WOMEN’S HEALTH
G
ETTYIMAGES(
DOG
S^A
N
D^ICONS)Fa st-for wa rd to la st We d ne sd ay, when,
running late for work, I lost my temper
and yelled at a now-13-year-old Bentley as
he st r ug g le d to get up my bu i ld i ng’s st a i r s.
(I know, I suck.) When we made it i n side,
I threw food into his bowl and raced out
without so much as an air-kiss. Still, the sec-
ond I got home, he trotted over with his usual
grin and plush toy in tow. I didn’t even have
a chance to apologize; he’d already forgiven
me. That never would have flown with my
human roommates or even my best friends.
The moment to ok me back to K it a’s a r t icle
and our mutual question: What does my dog
see in me that others don’t? How can I exude
the qualities that have earned his uncondi-
tional (sometimes undeserved) love among
people whose respect and adoration I want?
K it a lo oke d i nto it. E x p er t s i n c a n i ne ps y-
chology say that one of the reasons dogs wor-
sh ip u s i s t hat we fe e d , shelter, prote c t, a nd
pet them, providing all the necessities of life.
And while these beautiful creatures suppos-
edly have the brain of only a 2- to 3-year-old
child—meaning they can’t ID specific traits—
“they can sense and appreciate us on many
levels,” says Stanley Coren, PhD, a professor
emer it u s of ps ycholog y at t he Un iver sit y of
British Columbia and author of Born to Bark.
To be fair, I don’t expect my family, friends,
or coworkers to squeal in delight every time
we’re together. But I can work on being the
girl Bentley sees. All it takes is treating others
more like I treat my furry yellow potato...
save, of course, for last Wednesday.
Dependable and
TrustworthyMAKE PEOPLE SEE IT:
BE CONSISTENT
The humans in your life look to
you for support in the same way a
dog does: They want someone
to be their anchor in the storm.
And the key to filling this role,
says Coren, is predictabilit y. If
you show up on time and deliver
what ’s expected of you, people
will come to rely on you. Reliance
reinforces ties and promotes
the illusion of control. “That illu-
sion,” says Coren, “is ex tremely
important to having a normal,
non-neurotic life.” So establish
patterns of behavior. If you have
kiddos, try to return home at a
consistent hour as much as pos-
sible and don’t flip-flop when it
comes to discipline. At work,
respond quickly to your bosses’
emails, even if that means saying,
“Working on a solution now!”
when you don’t have an instant
fix. And with your friends, resist
the urge to bail on plans—the
more often you show up for them,
the stronger your bond will be.Forgiving and Fair
MAKE PEOPLE SEE IT:
NEVER CARRY A GRUDGE
In any circle, you can voice yourfeelings—via words or, ya know,
bared teeth—as long as you drop
the tiff right after. If not, you put
at risk squad integrity and effi-
ciency at home (you and your
partner or roomies should make
decisions as a unit) or at the of-
fice (teamwork makes the dream
work). When someone upsets
you, say so if you know you won’t
be able to let it go without a con-
versation. Be direct (“I feel the
comment of yours at our dinner
party made me sound like a lazy
mom”), but then offer a compli-
ment to turn the moment posi-
tive: “I love how attentive you are
at home when I’m having a rough
week. How can we make things
seem more equal? ” This helps
others accept your disapproval
while seeing you as an ally, so you
can move on together.Yo u r
Dog Thinks
You Are...I once read a story in
Men’s Health, our brother
magazine, about a
writer whose dogs would roll
over and pee in excitement when
he walked through the door.
“They both think I’m the great-
est thing since Milk-Bones,”
Joe Kita wrote. It stuck with me,
and not just because it made
me laugh. I thought of how my
own Lab, Bentley, always greet-
ed me: tail wagging, a stuffed
Lamb Chop in his mouth.
Yo u r
Dog Thinks
You Are...