96 new york | march 16–29, 2020
THE APPROVAL MATRIX Our deliberately oversimplified guide to who falls where on our taste hierarchies.
PHOTOGRAPHS: KREML
IN.RU/W
IKI
MED
IA (PUT
IN); CNN (BERN
IE); GAGE SK
IDMORE/W
IKI
MED
IA (B
IDEN); R
ICHARD TERM
INE (SU
ICI
DE FOREST); COURTESY OF NETFL
IX (KUSHNER); MARC A. HERMANN/MTA NEW YORK C
ITY TRANS
IT (BYFORD); FOTOGRAFÍAS-ARCH
IMADR
ID.ES/W
IKI
MED
IA (DOM
INGO); CHARLES BENTON,
COUR
TESY OF THE ART
IST
, JTT, AND ALM
INE RE
CH (MCK
INN
ISS
); JOSÉ PARLÁ, COURTESY OF THE BRONX MUSEUM OF THE ARTS (PARLÁ); DEFENS
IE/W
IKI
MED
IA (PR
INCE HARR
Y); CHR
ISSH
IPI
TV/TW
ITTER (MARKLE); CHAD BA
TKA (ENDL
INGS
); HULU (CL
INT
ON); PRESLEY ANN/PAUL BRU
INOOGE/P
ATR
ICK MCMULLAN (
ALLEN);
SAMUEL MORGAN PHOTOGRAPHY (SPR
ING BREAK
); CBS (JUDGE JUDY); KELSEY MCNEAL/ABC (KAREV); NETFL
IX (BAB
YLON BERL
IN); H
IROLA CONSERVAT
ION PR
OGRAMME (G
IRAFFE); P
ATR
ICK MCMULLAN (FELDMAN, FLA
VOR FLAV, WE
INSTE
IN); MANREPELLER/
INST
AGRAM (MATCHY MATCHY); OFF
ICI
ALSP
IKELEE/
INST
AGRAM
(LEE); COURTESY OF FX (DEVS); ADAM ROSE/NETFL
IX (MAR
ON); TRAV
IS SH
INN/W
IKI
MED
IA (
JOURNEY); VH1 (SHERRY P
IE); D
IXI
E CH
ICKS/Y
OUTUBE (GASL
IGHTER
); TROSM
ISI
EK/W
IKI
MED
IA (PLAST
IC BA
GS); YOUTUBE (LOVE
IS BL
IND
); RAY M
ICKSHA
W/FX (L
IL D
ICKY
).
brilliant
despicable
highbrow
Prince Harry gets
punked ...
Putin sets himself up
to be in power
longer than Stalin.
But can he top his
body count?
Jared Kushner made
$20 million on an
investment because
of a policy he
pushed for. But what
about Hunter Biden?
Turns out, Aaron Schock,
the anti-gay-rights ex-
congressman is ... gay.
Related: He spent
campaign money on
Katy Perry tickets.
Plácido Domingo
acted
inappropriately
at the L.A.
Opera, too.
Bill Clinton explains
his dalliance with
an intern was to
“manage my anxieties.”
It doesn’t look like this
is going to be
Bernie’s year after all.
Tr ain Daddy?
Who dat? Governor
Cuomo on
Andy Byford:
“I didn’t work with
Andy Byford ...
I worked with his
higher-ups.”
Hachette thought it
could sneak a Woody
Allen memoir past
Ronan Farrow ...
... Maybe read Barry
Sonnenfeld, Call Your
Mother instead.
Self-quarantine book nook
(which won’t do much for
your mood): Ben Hubbard’s
biography of MBS ...
... And Thomas
Piketty’s post-Marxist
Capital and Ideology.
Emily Kuroda, Jo Yang,
and Wai Ching Ho as the
cranky, defiant “dirt eaters”
of Endlings at New York
Theatre Workshop.
Haruna Lee’s
unsettling Suicide
Forest at A.R.T./New
York Theatres.
Jillian Walker’s
propulsive SKiNFoLK
at the Bushwick Starr.
Sam McKinniss’s
celebrity portraits at
JTT gallery.
Karla Cornejo
Villavicencio’s
well-documented
The Undocumented
Americans.
... But at least Meghan
Markle completes
her final royal
engagements in style.
The intriguing effluvia of
the Spring/Break Art Show,
eerily housed in abandoned
corporate offices
on Madison Avenue.
Diana Vreeland: Bon Mots.
Here’s one: “The quickest
way to show your age
is to try to look young.”
Lil Uzi Vert’s masterful
Eternal Atake, a space
opera in three parts.
Marc Maron’s new
special, End Times Fun,
jabs at the line
between bleak and
bleakly funny.
Alex Garland’s Devs
proves that Silicon Valley
is even weirder
than you thought!
“Lil Dicky woke up in
Chris Brown’s body.”
The Dixie Chicks’
new single, “Gaslighter,”
goes hard.
Dolly Parton wants to
be on the cover of
Playboy again next year,
when she’s 75.
Love Is Blind, and you
should see it.
Poachers in Kenya
kill a rare white
giraffe and her calf.
Harvey Weinstein
reportedly suggested
Jennifer Aniston be
... killed?
Tech snafus derail
our ability to watch
Corey Feldman’s The
Rape of 2 Coreys.
Drag Race’s Sherry Pie is
accused of tricking men into
sending sometimes-
degrading audition tapes for
made-up roles.
Judge Judy
rests.
The bag ban: right
for the planet, but
damn inconvenient.
Spike Lee vs. James Dolan.
Chuck D vs. Flavor Flav.
Journey vs. their former
bassist and drummer.
The weather gets
warmer, and it’s again
impossible to find a dock
for your Citi Bike
in the East Village.
According to a study in
the journal Cell
Metabolism, Splenda
might help make you fat.
Matchy-matchy
celebrity couples.
José Parlá at the
Bronx Museum of
the Arts.
Babylon Berlin returns for
its third season, and it’s
still in German but
worth watching anyway.
Oprah pulled
My Dark Vanessa
from her
book club.
Grey’s Anatomy’s explanation
for where Alex Karev went:
He’s on a farm? With Izzie
Stevens? Where she has twins?
That were conceived with her
and Alex’s frozen embryos?
lowbrow
We weren’t
really prepared
for COVID-1 9,
were we?
ADVANCED FORM
TRANSMITTED
________ COPY ___ DD ___ AD ___ PD ___ EIC
0620BOB_Matrix_lay [Print]_36887477.indd 96 3/12/20 5:32 PM
96 newyork| march16–29, 2020
THE APPROVAL MATRIX Our deliberately oversimplified guide to who falls where on our taste hierarchies.
PHOTOGRAPHS: KREML
N.RU/W
KMED
A (PUT
N); CNN (BERN
E); GAGE SK
DMORE/W
KMED
A (B
DEN); R
CHARD TERM
NE (SU
CDE FOREST); COURTESY OF NETFL
X (KUSHNER); MARC A. HERMANN/MTA NEW YORK C
TY TRANS
T (BYFORD); FOTOGRAFÍAS-ARCH
MADR
D.ES/W
KMED
A (DOM
NGO); CHARLES BENTON,
COUR
TESY OF THE ART
ST, JTT, AND ALM
NE RE
CH (MCK
NN
SS); JOSÉ PARLÁ, COURTESY OF THE BRONX MUSEUM OF THE ARTS (PARLÁ); DEFENS
E/W
KMED
A (PR
NCE HARR
Y); CHR
SSH
PTV/TW
TTER (MARKLE); CHAD BA
TKA (ENDL
NGS
); HULU (CL
NT
ON); PRESLEY ANN/PAUL BRU
NOOGE/P
ATR
CK MCMULLAN (
ALLEN);
SAMUEL MORGAN PHOTOGRAPHY (SPR
NG BREAK
); CBS (JUDGE JUDY); KELSEY MCNEAL/ABC (KAREV); NETFL
X (BAB
YLON BERL
N); H
ROLA CONSERVAT
ON PR
OGRAMME (G
RAFFE); P
ATR
CK MCMULLAN (FELDMAN, FLA
VOR FLAV, WE
NSTE
N); MANREPELLER/
NST
AGRAM (MATCHY MATCHY); OFF
CALSP
KELEE/
NST
AGRAM
(LEE); COURTESY OF FX (DEVS); ADAM ROSE/NETFL
X (MAR
ON); TRAV
S SH
NN/W
KMED
A (
JOURNEY); VH1 (SHERRY P
E); D
XE CH
CKS/Y
OUTUBE (GASL
GHTER
); TROSM
SEK/W
KMED
A (PLAST
C BA
GS); YOUTUBE (LOVE
S BL
ND
); RAY M
CKSHA
W/FX (L
L D
CKY
).
brilliant
despicable
highbrow
PrinceHarry gets
punked...
Putinsetshimselfup
tobeinpower
longerthanStalin.
Butcanhetophis
bodycount?
JaredKushnermade
$20milliononan
investmentbecause
ofa policyhe
pushedfor.Butwhat
aboutHunterBiden?
Turnsout,AaronSchock,
theanti-gay-rightsex-
congressmanis ...gay.
Related:Hespent
campaignmoneyon
Katy Perrytickets.
PlácidoDomingo
acted
inappropriately
attheL.A.
Opera, too.
BillClintonexplains
hisdalliancewith
aninternwasto
“managemyanxieties.”
It doesn’tlooklike this
is goingtobe
Bernie’syearafter all.
Tr ainDaddy?
Whodat?Governor
Cuomoon
AndyByford:
“I didn’tworkwith
AndyByford...
I workedwithhis
higher-ups.”
Hachettethoughtit
couldsneaka Woody
Allenmemoirpast
RonanFarrow...
... Maybe readBarry
Sonnenfeld, CallYour
Mother instead.
Self-quarantine book nook
(which won’t do much for
your mood): Ben Hubbard’s
biography of MBS ...
... And Thomas
Piketty’s post-Marxist
Capital and Ideology.
EmilyKuroda,JoYang,
andWaiChingHoasthe
cranky, defiant“dirteaters”
ofEndlingsatNewYork
TheatreWorkshop.
Haruna Lee’s
unsettling Suicide
Forest at A.R.T./New
York Theatres.
JillianWalker’s
propulsiveSKiNFoLK
attheBushwickStarr.
Sam McKinniss’s
celebrity portraits at
JTT gallery.
Karla Cornejo
Villavicencio’s
well-documented
The Undocumented
Americans.
... But at least Meghan
Markle completes
her final royal
engagements in style.
The intriguingeffluviaof
the Spring/BreakArt Show,
eerilyhousedinabandoned
corporate offices
on Madison Avenue.
Diana Vreeland: Bon Mots.
Here’s one: “The quickest
way to show your age
is to try to look young.”
LilUzi Vert’s masterful
Eternal Atake, a space
opera in three parts.
MarcMaron’s new
special,End Times Fun,
jabsat the line
between bleak and
bleakly funny.
AlexGarland’sDevs
provesthatSiliconValley
is evenweirder
thanyouthought!
“Lil Dicky woke up in
Chris Brown’s body.”
TheDixieChicks’
newsingle,“Gaslighter,”
goeshard.
Dolly Parton wants to
be onthecoverof
Playboy againnextyear,
whenshe’s75.
LoveIs Blind,andyou
shouldseeit.
PoachersinKenya
killa rarewhite
giraffeandhercalf.
HarveyWeinstein
repo sted
Jen be
Techsnafusderail
ourabilitytowatch
CoreyFeldman’sThe
Rapeof 2 Coreys.
DragRace’s Sherry Pie is
accusedoftrickingmeninto
sendingsometimes-
degradingauditiontapesfor
made-uproles.
JudgeJudy
rests.
T
f
d
Spike Leevs.JamesDolan.
ChuckD vs.FlavorFlav.
Journeyvs.theirformer
bassistanddrummer.
Theweathergets
warmer, andit’s again
impossibletofindadock
foryourCitiBike
intheEastVillage.
Accordingtoa studyin
thejournalCell
Metabolism,Splenda
mighthelpmakeyoufat.
Matchy-matchy
celebritycouples.
José Parlá at the
Bronx Museum of
the Arts.
Babylon Berlin returns for
its third season, and it’s
still in German but
worth watching anyway.
Oprahpulled
MyDarkVanessa
fromher
bookclub.
Grey’sAnatomy’s explanation
forwhereAlexKarevwent:
He’s ona farm?WithIzzie
Stevens?Whereshehastwins?
Thatwereconceivedwithher
andAlex’sfrozenembryos?
lowbrow
We weren’t
really prepared
for COVID-1 9,
were we?