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Dream
Logic
I sleep with a knife under
my pillow. You never know
when someone is going to
break in and give you a cake.
— @SHARIV67
Any job is a dream
job if you fall asleep
in meetings.
— @SOMADDYSMITH
People in sleeping bags
are the soft tacos of the
bear world.
— @LONGWALL26
I used to be able to
pull all-nighters but
now I can barely
pull all-dayers.
— @WOLFYNEYDA
Accidentally fell asleep smoking
an e-cigarette and when I woke up
my whole house was on the Internet.
— @JERMHIMSELFISH
There are many theories
on why humans even need
to sleep, but I’m pretty sure
it’s to charge our phones.
— @ALISPAGNOLA
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LAUGH LINES