Reader\'s Digest Canada - 04.2020

What if Lance launched into his sig-

nature premeal wailing or those con-

vulsive, strangled sounds that often

serve as the opening act for a dramatic

hairball delivery?

The flight was the final step in the

decision my partner, Hans, and I made

to move from Toronto to Victoria. All

the stressful unknowns around this life

change, including selling the house,

hiring cross-country movers, shipping

the car west by train, saying goodbye to

friends and the city that had been our

home for more than 35 years—all of that

was a cakewalk compared to the anxiety

I felt about getting a skittish cat onto

a plane and keeping him calm during

the process. Keeping me calm while

trying to do that would be a bonus.

Neither of us would be sedated. The

same vet who explained that Lance’s

girth stems from being “food motiv-

ated” warned us that a zonked-out cat

can suffer even more when he’s terri-

fied and immobile.

So we bought a bottle of pheromone

spray designed to calm cat nerves. I

dosed Lance’s carrier repeatedly and

considered spraying it on myself.

I was so twitchy thinking of all that

could go wrong with Lance, the move

almost took a backseat.

Air Canada charges about $50 to fly

your cat or small dog in the cabin on

domestic flights, which is a sweet deal.

For the aircraft we were taking, the rules

state that the pet carrier must measure

21 x 38 x 43 centimetres, weigh less

than 10 kilograms and fit under the

seat in front of you.

We were overly optimistic about

Lance’s dimensions from the get-go.

I ordered an airline-approved carrier

online that arrived looking laughably

small next to Lance’s sprawl. He’d been

on a strict regime of diet cat food for

a year, so he wasn’t going to shrink any

time soon.

I inspected the underseat area on

every flight I took leading up to our

move, mentally imagining Lance down

there. I worried about how he would

handle the experience and quizzed flight

crews and other pet-parent passengers.

I decided there was no way Lance

would fit under a WestJet seat. Air Can-

ada seats on some flights were roomier.

Carrier-wise, the only thing that

would work was something we call

Lance’s “little blue house”—a soft-sided

pet cage. Using treats (of course) and

advised by YouTube videos, I attempted

to train him to hang out in the carrier

in the hope he’d be happy to travel in

it. That was a fleeting dream. But he

liked it well enough for naps. If I took

“MY CAT IS A

PROJECTILE PEE-ER

WHEN HE’S NERVOUS,”

I WARNED THE

SECURITY OFFICER.

reader’s digest

66 april 2020