Reader\'s Digest Canada - 04.2020

Send us your original

jokes! You could earn $50

and be featured in the

magazine. See page 7 or

rd.ca/joke for details.

every day! For example,
I didn’t know that I
looked “old and tired”
when I left my house.
Luckily one of my stu-
dents was nice enough
to clue me in!
— @KATHERINE_E

“... and then Mommy
turned into a big
mountain where the
princess and the
dragon had a party!”
–My four-year-old
explaining how I fell
asleep in the middle
of our game.
— @BUNANDLEGGINGS

As a retired teacher, I’ve
been going through my
old daily plan books,
wherein I jotted down
strange ideas my stu-
dents came up with,
and found this:
“Tonsils are just lit-
tle bits of meat in
your neck.”
— MARIE SZPORT-SEDOR,
Winnipeg

While I was grocery
shopping with my
daughters, my five-
year-old climbed into
the cart and let her

seven- and eight-year-

old sisters push her

around the store. As we

approached the check-

out, I joked that since

she was so small, we

should put her on the

conveyor belt with the

rest of the food items.

Her oldest sister imme-

diately admonished

me: “Mommy! We can’t

do that—she doesn’t

have a bar code!”

— RITA HICKEY, Brampton

Shortly after we got our

cat, our four-year-old

great granddaughter,

Hannah, came to visit

us. She was in the

kitchen with me as the

cat was circling my legs

and meowing con-

stantly. I meowed back,

and Hannah’s eyes

opened as wide as sau-

cers: “Nana,” she said,

shocked. “I didn’t know

you could speak cat!”

— YVONNE GROFF,

Eriksdale, Man.

“You’re just like me:

trash!”

–My toddler, quoting

Toy Story 4 to strangers

on the street.

— @DADTHATWRITES

Sometimes I like to live

dangerously by putting

ketchup on my kid’s

dinner plate without

asking where they

would like it.

— @THREETIMEDADDY

Yesterday, my four-year-

old and I painted pic-

tures, went to the park,

played house, cooked

dinner together and

watched a movie. Or, as

she described it to her

teacher: “I picked up a

dead bug and mommy

yelled at me.”

— @STAYATHOMIES

Please respect our privacy at this difficult

time while we deal with our toddler, who

has just entered the “Why?” phase.

— @WHINECHEEZITS

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