of the bargain. Are they getting what
they need out of our chats? Is there
anything I should be doing differently?
One thing is certain: the time has
come for us all to build meaningful
connections with our elders. According
to StatCan data, there are now more
Canadians over the age of 65 than there
are under the age of 15—and their
numbers are rising quickly. A decade
from now, nearly one in four Canadi-
ans will be a senior. So here are some
practical strategies to ensure everyone
can make the most of intergenerational
confabs—now and in the future.Avoid stereotypes
We often attribute a person’s behaviour
to the most obvious thing about
them—and age is an especially visible
trait. According to Verena Menec, a
professor at the University of Manitoba
in the department of community health
sciences, that’s a mistake. “Just because
someone is older, don’t assume that
they don’t know what’s going on in the
world or that they have dementia or
hearing issues,” she says.
If an older person doesn’t respond
to a question or comment, it’s possible
that they simply weren’t paying atten-
tion. Presuming that their reaction is
somehow tied to their age can lead to
what Menec calls “elder speak”: talking
very loudly and very slowly, and even
engaging in baby talk. Addressing
seniors in this patronizing manner can
quickly become an irritant for them.Stereotyping in this way is ageism,
says Menec. Rather than immediately
generalizing, focus on the individual.
Observe them. Not everyone wants to
be drawn out—some older people are
happy sitting quietly.
Also, keep in mind that someone’s
potential physical frailty doesn’t nec-
essarily dictate their level of interest
in new technologies or their desire to
discuss current events. Approach them
in the same way you would a younger
person and then adjust if necessary.Slow things down
Although Menec cautions against tak-
ing a young-versus-old approach, she
does acknowledge that young people
have a tendency to use jargon and to
speak quickly and without pauses. “I
keep telling my research assistants to
ease up and take a breath,” she says.
“As people get older, the conversation
pace often slows down slightly. Wait a
moment after speaking and allow the
other person to gather their thoughts.”
That give and take is an essential part
of conversation, agrees Dr. Yael Gold-
berg, a neuropsychologist and clinical
psychologist at Baycrest Health Sci-
ences in Toronto. The centre is a
global leader in geriatric care and brain
health, and Goldberg is a frequent wit-
ness to, and participant in, intergener-
ational dialogue. “Being a good partner
is key,” she says. “Make sure to take the
time to establish eye contact and dou-
ble check that you have someone’sreader’s digest
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