attention before launching into what-
ever you need to say.”
Although not every senior experi-
ences significant auditory issues, some
amount of hearing loss is common as
we age. With that in mind, it’s best to
avoid distractions such as the TV or
the radio, or noisy public spaces like
restaurants, which increase the possi-
bility of misunderstandings. If some-
one is hearing-impaired, it can be dif-
ficult for them to follow a conversation
in a crowded room when there’s more
than one speaker. If you want to chat,
Menec advises moving to a quiet cor-
ner or ensuring that visits occur within
intimate group settings.
Focus on their interests
and strengths
When there’s a 50-year gap between
you and your conversation partner, it’s
tempting to believe that you won’t be
able to relate to one another. Push that
assumption to the side as best you can.
“Personhood should be your lens,”
says Goldberg. “Remind yourself, ‘This
is a human being in front of me. How
can I connect with them?’ One of the
best ways to do that is to engage them
in conversation about their interests
and hobbies.”
Capitalizing on the older person’s
strengths is useful as well, says Gold-
berg: “These are people who have
more life experience than us.” When
it comes to my own relatives, that is
abundantly clear. Each of them lived
through the Depression and war, faced
serious illness and loss, dealt with pro-
fessional ups and downs. There are few
matters I’d hesitate to bring to them—
recent topics include work struggles,
home renovations and financial plan-
ning. And while I may not always take
their advice, I almost always trust it.
According to Goldberg, these kinds
of in-depth exchanges can make a dif-
ference in an older person’s life. Often,
seniors don’t have as many inter-
actions in their day-to-day as they did
when they were employed, for exam-
ple. “Those moments provide them
with a sense of belonging and mas-
tery,” she says.
In 2018, the Canadian Longitudinal
Study on Aging—a long-term investi-
gation that is following 50,000 people
between the ages of 45 and 85 for at
least 20 years—released its first report.
Among the key findings was the correla-
tion between loneliness and depression
in older adults. Socializing, whether in
the form of small talk or longer conver-
sations, can help counter that.
That alone is a good reason to foster
connections with the older people in
your life or to reach out to strangers. But
in my case, it’s not the only one. As my
family members and Monsieur Gagnon
age, and our chats carry on, I realize just
how much I gain from those talks, too.
I value the perspective they provide
and the bonds that have been strength-
ened. Carving out quiet moments to
share and connect has been a gift.rd.ca 81