2020-03-01 MIT Sloan Management Review

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THERE’SA TIMEANDPLACEFORADVICE.Butwhengiving

it is yourdefaultresponsetocolleaguesandfriends

whofacedifficultsituations(andformostofus,that’s

thecase),it becomesa problem.

It’saninsidioushabit—oneyou’vebeenencour-

agedtoadoptallyourlife.Fromyourearlydaysin

school,throughexamsincollege,andintoyourca-

reer,it’salwaysbeenabouthavingtheanswer.And

biologyis colludingwithsocietalinfluence.When

yougiveadvice,yourbraingetsa doseoffeel-good

chemicals.Youfeelsmartandaccomplished,poised

andhelpful.Thebuzzisintoxicating.Nowonder

you’regivingadviceallthetime.

Butmostofit is notusefuloreffective.Here’swhy.

1.You’resolvingthewrongchallenge.Moreoften

thannot,you’reofferingsolutions(brilliantornot)to

thewrongproblem.You’vebeensuckeredintobeliev-

ingthatthefirstchallengementionedis therealissue.

It rarelyis.Butbecausewe’realltwitchy-keentohelp

and“addvalue,”youjumpinandsolvethefirstthingthatshowsup.

2.You’reproposinga mediocresolution.Let’ssayyouside-

steppedthatfirstmistakeandtooka littletimetoidentifythereal

problem.Unfortunately,you’restilllikelytomakesuggestionsthat

arenotasgoodasyouthinktheyare.Therearereasonsforthat.To

startwith,youdon’thavethefullpicture.Youhavea fewfacts,a de-

lightfulcollectionofbaggage,a robustservingofopinion,andan

oceanofassumption.Yourbrainis designedtofindpatternsand

makeconnectionsthatreassureyouthatyouknowwhat’sgoingon.

(Chancesare,youdon’t.)Addtothatyourownself-servingbias,

whichis whatbehavioralscientistscallit whenyou’reover-inclinedto

believeyourideasareexcellent,andthenuggetsofgoldkeepcoming.

3.You’redisplayingpoorleadership.Evenif youavoidthefirst

twomistakes,you’llreacha crossroads:Doyousupplyananswer

that’s fast and right? Or give someone else who’s less experienced

or less senior the room to figure things out? Down one path: speed

and a confirmation of your status within the group. Down the

other: an act of empowerment — and with it, an increase in confi-

dence, competence, and autonomy.

Sadly, most of us choose the first path. We’ve been conditioned to

do so. But problem-solving becomes much more interesting and ef-

fective when we stay curious and know when to step out of the way.

Michael Bungay Stanier (@boxofcrayons) is the author of The

Coaching Habit and The Advice Trap, from which this article

is adapted. Comment on this article at http://sloanreview.mit

.edu/x/61326.

Reprint 61326. For ordering information, see page 4.

Copyright © Massachusetts Institute of Technology, 2020. All rights reserved.

Stop Rushing In

With Advice

BY MICHAEL BUNGAY STANIER