Proust Questionnaireoccasion do you lie? It is hard to get through a large cocktail
party without lying dozens of times. “You look amazing!”...
“Oh, my God, it’s so great to see you!”...“We need to see each
other more!”—when really I am dying to get home and watch
Netflix. What do you dislike most about your appearance?
The fact that my butt seems to be sliding down my thighs.
Which living person do you most despise? Well, we all know
who, but I don’t want to give him any more airtime. What
is your greatest regret? That I never slept with Cary Grant.
What or who is the greatest love of your life? Our son, Jack.
When and where are you happiest? Staring at our son every
night when he is sleeping. Which talent would you most
like to have? The ability to relax. What is your current state
of mind? Cluttered. If you could change one thing about
yourself, what would it be? My terrible temper. What do you
consider your greatest achievement? Being a good parent,
or at least trying to be. If you were to die and come back as a
person or thing and could choose what to come back as,
what would it be? The Barcelona Pavilion. What is your
most treasured possession? My ability to simply say “Fuck it.”
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Have
you ever taken a mirror and bent over and looked at what
happens to your face? If you are over 35, it is not pretty.
I’ve definitely entered the age of only lying on my back when
in intimate situations. What is your favorite occupation?
Making films. What is your most marked characteristic?
Loyalty. What do you most value in your friends? A sense of
humor. Who are your heroes in life? Doctors. What are your
favorite names? Classic ones. Names have become so absurd.
Especially in L.A. If I meet one more person named after a
tree, a fruit, or an obscure spice, I’m going to lose it. What
is it that you most dislike? People who cancel dates at the last
minute. L.A. seems to be filled with these people. How
would you like to die? Alone. What is your motto? Listen to
everyone and then do what you want. Actually, I’ve lifted that
quote from Diane von Furstenberg, but it’s genius. I live by it. nWhat is your idea of perfect happiness? Life with no Instagram
and no selfies. I am so tired of looking at people staring out of
the window of a private plane with a small dog in their laps. What
is your greatest fear? Couples who have to be sat side by side at
L.A. dinner parties. What is that all about?! Which living person
do you most admire? Gloria Steinem. What is the trait you
most deplore in yourself? Perfection ism. What is the trait
you most deplore in others? Narcissism. What is your greatest
ext rava ga nce? Sleep and doughnuts. What is your favorite
journey? The one to my bed every night. What do you consider
the most overrated virtue? Political correctness. On what
TOM FORD
The designer
and director on
parenthood,
aging, and reluctant
schmoozing