Teacher's Role
Secondary and ElementaryFollowing the death of a student, those left behind grieve in a variety of ways. This brief
handout is intended to provide a guide for your use in assisting the students in your classes
through the next few days and weeks as they resolve their feelings related to this death.
➢ Normal grief is generally characterized by progression from an initial state of shock and
denial to one of rage and anger to one of disorganization and despair, and finally to a state
of acceptance and hope.
➢ In the event of sudden death, many youngsters may arrive at school already "buzzing" with
the news. Rumors will have already started before school convened, but there will also be
many youngsters who arrive with no knowledge of the deceased student's death.
Youngsters will be saying, "I just can't believe it!" "Not him/her. It can't be!" "This must be
a joke."
➢ Other youngsters will quickly move to be angry. They will want to blame anyone and
everyone for the death - other friends, parents, police, teachers, the medical personnel, and
finally, themselves.
➢ Guilt will be a feeling many youngsters may experience and want to discuss. In the
aftermath of an adolescent death, many youngsters will be going back and retracing their
last encounter with the adolescent who has died. They add to their guilt by often blowing
out of proportion small fights that may have occurred or minor disagreements they may
have had. After their guilt period, they may feel that they are in some way responsible for
the death.
➢ For many of your students, this may be their first encounter with death. They will look to
you for guidance and modeling. To share with the students your own feelings when you are
told of the death--your shock, your sadness, your confusion-is valuable. To reminisce about
your relationship with the deceased student, if you know him/her, is important. Share with
students what you will remember about him/her.
➢ Let students know these feelings are normal. Reassure them that they are not responsible
for what happened. Encourage the students to be supportive of one another and to escort
any friend who is upset to a teacher or the guidance office. Reassure them that the adults in