Bandra
I’m listening to a new recording in a
Bollywood sound studio and it’s awful and
pitiful and embarrassing. If I was reviewing
this performance, it would be entirely
negative. I’d say that the singer sounds
nervous, for one thing, but fundamentally
devoid of ability, for another. I’d add that
whatever his day job is, he should be kept
well away from the 121-year-old Bollywood
industry, which requires maximum
pizazz and pep, not to mention talent
and confidence.
I can say all of these things because I
am the singer and, despite my mumbled
protestations, guide Raj Nagrani has
just cajoled me into murdering Neil
Diamond’s Forever in Blue Jeans at 11am
on a Thursday. It isn’t the first time I’ve
mangled that song, but it’s the only time
I’ve done so sober.
“We’ll send you the remix,” beams Raj,
apparently not offended by my effort. We’re
on the lot of SJ Studios, one of several
Bollywood production companies dotted
around Mumbai. As well as this sound
studio, there are sets — some are permanent,
but others are just empty floors that can
be rapidly customised into almost any
backdrop. When filming isn’t taking place,
tours are offered.Around 2,000 movies come out every year
in India, a ludicrously high volume (the US
churns out around 600) that demands
constant production. The most lavish and
star-studded are all made here in Mumbai.
Prior to arriving for this studio tour, Raj
had driven me around the neighbourhood of
Bandra to get a better sense of the industry.
Unlike Hollywood, Bollywood doesn’t exist
as a physical place, but Bandra is comparable
to Beverly Hills. Many of the industry’s
top stars have properties here, which fans
are known to gather outside in the hope of
catching a glimpse of their heroes.
Several producers and directors also live
here; Bandra is unmistakably the land of
The Haves. Car horns are less constant here,
the roads are clearer. There’s a huge private
hospital, a Starbucks, nightclubs and, more
generally, an unmistakable atmosphere
of affluence. At the southern tip of the
peninsula on which Bandra lies, close to the
ruins of an old Portuguese fort, stands the
Taj Lands End hotel. Its House of Nomad bar
is where the stars come to sign massive deals
over cocktails.
Raj talks about the business as a sort
of religion. “I thought cricket was India’s
unofficial religion,” I joke. “It’s popular,
sure, but they have seasons,” he replies.
“Bollywood is important every day.”FROM LEFT: Flower
market in Mumbai; Auto
rickshaws in Bandra
Jul/Aug 2020 51