Baby&Toddler‘Gentlyprephimthatthe
transition is coming,’ says
Rebecca. ‘And give him a concrete
way to understand when that’s going
to happen. He won’t understand “in a
minute”, but he can understand “three
more jigsaw pieces”.’
● Make him king of the plate
You’ve decided what to cook for your
child. Let him decide what he eats and how
much. ‘Only he knows how hungry he feels,’
says Rebecca. ‘Take the pressure off
yourself and let him choose what to eat.
That means you won’t get anxious about his
eating; he’s more likely to enjoy his meals;
and tantrums will be averted!’
● Ask a surprise question
If it looks like trouble’s brewing, defuse the
situation by asking your youngster, ‘Can
you remember what we had for lunch
yesterday?’ Because he has to think about it,
he’ll (hopefully) forget what was making him
cross and focus on the answer. And when
he remembers that it was pasta, ask him a
question about the pasta. ‘What shape
pasta do you like best?’ ‘Does the Queen
like flat pasta or curly pasta?’ ‘What does
the Queen like putting on her pasta?’
● Turn the tables
Your child doesn’t want to eat. No problem!
Ask him to feed you. ‘Giving him that control
will surprise him, hopefully make him smile,
and gives you an opportunity to model
good eating by enjoying the forkful he
delivers into your mouth!’
The 5pm grizzleWHYTHEDRAMA?
Twokeytantrumtriggersatthis
timeofdayaretirednessand
hunger.‘Butthere’sanother
reasonforthe5pmdoldrums,’
saysRebecca.‘Lotsoftoddlers
havebeenatnurseryorwitha
childminderduringtheday,while
parentsareatwork.So,5pmis
atimeforreuniting.
When they see you again
toddlers become aware of
having missed you. That can
provoke tears. And your reserves
may be low, too – it’s the end of
the day, you’re tired from work,
there’s still a lot to do and you
may feel guilty or upset that your
youngster is crying.
‘It’s easy for parents to find
themselves in a situation where
they’re hurrying to get home,
while their toddler is working
themselves into a tizz,’ says
Rebecca. ‘Then everyone winds
up feeling on edge.’SOOTHING STEPS...
● Take five
If you feel grounded and
‘in-the-moment’ when you pick
up your child, he’ll respond to the
fact that you are calm. So, shake
off any work stresses by taking
three deep breaths and then
focusing on the present moment
by thinking about five things you
can see; four things you cantouch;threethingsyoucanhear;
twothingsyoucansmell;and
onethingyoucantaste.● (^) Reconnectwithhim
Whenyouhaven’tseenyour
childforafewhours,taketime
forabighuganda‘chat’.Don’t
bundlehimintothebackofthe
caranddriveoff.Spendacouple
of minutes making eye contact,
talking to him, and cuddling him.
‘Those few minutes of focused
attention show your child that
you’re delighted to see him,’ says
Rebecca. ‘You’re giving him
attention without him having to
ask for it; reconnecting, and
making that transition back to
“family time” easy.’
● Sing!
Singing together equals instant
connection. Try, If you’re happy
and you know it all the way home!
● Put on a funny voice
A glove puppet that can talk to
your child and mirror his feelings
is really handy at the end of a
long day. You can use the puppet
to ask your child questions in a
funny voice. ‘I’m cold, are you?’
‘What can I do to get warm?’
‘Shall I jump up and down?’ ‘Shall
I rub my arms?’
● Don’t forget a snack!
Sometimes a healthy snack at
the right time is all it takes to
avoid a meltdown. Raisins really
can save the day!
‘When Ethan is
starting to go into meltdown,
I give him a big bear hug and hum
in his ear to distract him. Then, I listen
to his breathing, get in sync with it, and
breathe deeply and regularly so that he
starts breathing with me. It ’s really
calming – even when he’s upset that he
can’t have chocolate cake at 6am!’
Aimee Pegram, 29, from Braintree,
is mum to Ethan, two, and
Aiden, five