2020-06-01_Mother_&_Baby

BEHAVIOUR

I need to spend

a night away

from my three-

month-old. How can

I make this easier

for both of us?

Lily Johnson,

Newcastle

Ideally, choose to leave your
baby with someone he knows
and that you trust, such as a
close relative, a friend or a
babysitter. Suggest they come
to you, as being in familiar
surroundings will help your
baby feel more secure. If you
are breastfeeding, prepare
pumped milk in advance so
you are confident you have
enough. Also, make sure your
sitter knows your baby’s
routine in terms of eating,
napping, and playing. GVL

Q

My 18-month-old often has tantrums about putting his

socks and shoes on. I can’t let him go barefoot all the

time, so what should I do?

Lucinda Cook, Oxford

It’s a tough time for any parents, but

tantrums are developmentally normal and

healthy in 18-month-olds. It is important to

think about triggers and what may be at the

root of these tantrums, as this will determine

how you respond. Is your son doing this to

exert control over you and push boundaries?

Are there any issues with his socks and

shoes in terms of comfort or dislike of the

texture and fabrics? Does he want to put his

socks and shoes on by himself?

Toddlers are beginning to seek more

independence and autonomy at this stage,

but can feel incredibly frustrated when they

cannot accomplish tasks alone. Ask yourself

whether this is a battle worth fighting right

now and are you going anywhere where

shoes are really important to wear? Perhaps

you could consider letting him go in his

buggy without his socks and shoes on, but

tell him that you cannot let him walk around

barefoot because he might get glass or

sharp things in his feet and you have to keep

him safe. If he’s having an ‘I want to do it

myself tantrum’, perhaps slip the sock

halfway onto his foot and offer lots of praise

as he pulls it the rest of the way. You could

also consider buying some character socks

and shoes, which are appealing and fun, to

encourage him to put them on. GVL

Q

When my two-year-old is angry, she

often pulls hair, both mine and her

own.HowcanI stopher?

PROMOTION

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Georgina Benyon, Guildford

Be reassured that this is a

normal phase and she will

eventually grow out of it.

Your two-year-old finds it

difficult to manage her

impulses, and has very

little control when she

feels angry or frustrated.

However, it is important

that she learns where the

boundaries lie and that

aggressive behaviour

towards you or herself

s definitely not OK.

Be calm and consistent

and say gently but firmly:

No pulling hair. Pulling hair

hurts. We touch gently.’

ake her hand and stroke

t gently over your hair

and her hair to model the

bestway. Provide lots

ofpraise whenever you

seeherbeing gentle.

Separate the hair pulling

behaviour from your love

for her. Remember to keep

providing lots of love and

affection, while making it

clear that it is behaviour

you don’t like. GVL

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68 | June 2020 | motherandbaby.co.uk

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