Bloomberg Businessweek - USA (2020-07-27)

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Goodmannersaren’tdead,despite

thepandemic.Weaskeda fewexpertshow

tonavigatethenewpainpoints

inhumancontact.ByClaireBallentine

The Rules of

Cov-Etiquette

Socialinteractionswererelativelyeasytoignoreduringlockdown,butthey’vebeen

thrustintothespotlightaspeopletakevacations,back-to-schoolplansform,and

restaurantsreopen.It seemseveryonehastomakeuptheirownrulesofbehavior.

Entertheetiquetteexperts,whoseadvicenowextendsbeyondsimplesocial-

izingtomitigatingthevirus.A switch-upinprotocolsis nothingnew,theysay:

Inmedievaltimes,knightswouldraisetheirfacemasktosignalfriendlyintent,a

gesturethatevolvedintothehattipinWesternsocietiesinthe19thand20thcen-

turies.What’schangedis thespeedatwhichourhabitshavebeentransformed,

saysMaryanneParker,founderofManorofMannersinSanDiego.“Beforeit

wouldtakeyearsandyearstodevelop,buteverythinghappenedsosudden.

Nowit’sjustcrazy.”

Becauseofthisrapidshift,theseproponentsofproperconducturgemore

patienceandgoodwillfromeveryoneinvolved.“Forustosurvive,wehaveto

change,”Parkersays.“Wehavetoadjustif wewanttobepartofa healthysociety.”

Here, she and four other etiquette authorities deliver the final word—at least for

now—on how to be polite even in a pandemic.

HOW SHOULD I GREET PEOPLE?

Instead of a handshake, Jodi Smith, president

of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting in

Marblehead, Mass., recommends choosing

phrases that a warm embrace would

otherwise convey. “I’m so excited to meet

you” is one option, or “I would love to

shake your hand, but we’re going to have to

wait until 2021.”

WHAT IF THEY GET OFFENDED?

If possible, lay out expectations beforehand

when arranging plans. “I want people to be

as clear as possible what is going to happen

when meeting somebody,” Smith says. You

couldsay,forinstance,“I justwanttoletyou

know,normallyI wouldshakeyourhand,but

inthiscase,I willnot.”Anassertiveheads-up

is best. “Whenever there is ambiguity,” she

says, “people get nervous.”

WHAT IF SOMEONE GOES IN FOR A HUG?

Old habits die hard. To stop an incoming

hug, David Coggins, author of Men and

Manners, suggests staying 6 feet apart.

“That’s a long way for someone to lunge

at you,” he says. If a friend is intent on a

handshake, Smith recommends clasping

your hands in front of you—rather than

jumping back or pulling your hands away—

and offering a bow or nod. A little humor

helps, too, especially among friends. Make

a joke, Coggins says, like “I’m keeping my

hands to myself,” or “It’s been six months

since I’ve hugged someone, and I’m keeping

the streak going.”