61LIVING Bloomberg Pursuits July 27, 2020
SHOULD I ATTEND A SOCIAL EVENT?
As people begin to venture out of strict
isolation and meet up with friends, it
becomes important to communicate your
safety concerns. There’s nothing wrong with
asking for more details about an event you’re
invited to, whether it’s an outdoor cocktail
hour or backyard barbecue. Jacqueline
Whitmore, founder of the Protocol School of
Palm Beach, suggests saying, “I’m practicing
social distancing, but I’d love to come. Can
you tell me more about your plan for the
party?” Ask about the number of guests,
whether it will be indoors, if food will be
shared, and what the mask protocol will be.
HOW DO I SAY NO?
If what they say doesn’t sound safe, it’s
fine to decline, no excuse required. Diane
Gottsman, founder of the Protocol School of
Texas in San Antonio, suggests saying “I’m
looking forward to seeing you in the near
future” to help smooth over hurt feelings.
WHAT IF I’M INVITED TO STAY
OVERNIGHT WITH A FRIEND?
The same logic extends to an invitation to
stay at someone’s home, but with different
questions to determine your risk tolerance.
In addition to mask-related requirements,
“ask where you will be sleeping, will you
be sharing a bathroom, how will the meals
be prepared, and other visitors who will
overlap with your stay,” Smith says. If you
accept, consider bringing—or contributing
to the purchase of—any cleaning supplies
and plan to take part in sanitizing your own
personal areas.HOW MUCH SHOULD I TIP?
The classic guideline of tipping 15% to 20%
of the total check isn’t adequate during a
pandemic. There’s no hard-and-fast rule
on a percentage increase, but because all
essential workers are risking virus exposure
to do their jobs, 50% isn’t out of the question.
“I encourage people to tip to the point of
pain,” Smith says. If pizza for the family costs
$25, leaving $10 or even $15 would be an
appropriate gesture. If you cannot afford
that, at least don’t undertip, Parker says, and
be vocal about how much you appreciate
the service. If you’re using a mobile app to
order delivery, use the gratuity feature on
its platform to avoid close contact or the
exchange of unsanitary bills.WHAT IF MY FAMILY ASKS TO VISIT?
Another minefield this summer is requests
to visit from loved ones, especially parents
or grandparents. The Centers for Disease
Control and Prevention says close contact
with older adults isn’t wise, as the risk of
getting severely ill from Covid-19 increases
with age. Taking a let’s-delay-a-bit tack
avoids a flat-out no, Whitmore says. “Just be
honest and say, ‘We’re being very cautious
rightnow,andwe’retryingnottoexpose
ourselvestopeople.Canwewaita coupleof
months?’” If you do play host, Parker says,
it’s your responsibility to enforce the rules.MY PARENTS AREN’T TAKING THIS
SERIOUSLY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY?
An honest, caring approach is crucial. Broach
the topic “without making it sound like you
are angry but rather concerned for their
health,” Gottsman says. Coggins advises
to frame it as a switching of roles. “Parents
who have been so carefully protecting us
ourwholelives,nowit’sourturntolookafter
them.WhatI toldthemwas,‘Imagineif this
wasreversed.Howwouldyoubehave?’”CAN I ASK SOMEONE TO WEAR A MASK?
It depends. For a hired employee such
as a plumber or electrician entering your
home, asking for a facial covering is entirely
appropriate. Whitmore suggests greeting
them outside the home and asking, “Do you
mind wearing a mask while inside?”WHAT ABOUT A FRIEND?
These situations can be more tricky.
Gottsman favors a clear and assertive “I’d
feel more comfortable if we were both
wearing a mask.” Smith suggests a self-
deprecating approach: “Suzy, you know I
am a bit bonkers about this pandemic. I
would feel more comfortable if you put on a
mask. Could you?”WHAT ABOUT A TOTAL STRANGER?
“It’s best to avoid the situation,” Gottsman
says. Instead, focus on what you can
control—your own mask and distance.BUT WHAT IF THEY’RE VERY ANNOYING?
If you’re determined to speak up, Coggins
suggests shifting the focus to the
establishment—similar to pointing out a
no-smokingpolicy.“Ifyou’reonanairplane,
youcouldsay,‘I thinkwe’resupposedtobe
wearingmasksinhere.’” Offering a spare
mask of your own is another option. But
Gottsman concedes you can’t force a person
to behave a certain way. “If you are feeling
uncomfortable, do what you need to do to
protect yourself: Walk away.” <BW>