E16 EZ EE THE WASHINGTON POST.SUNDAY, AUGUST 2 , 2020
CROSSWORD “ALPHABET SOUP” BY EVAN BIRNHOLZSOLUTION TO: SMASH HITS (JULY 26)ACROSS
1 Designer Gucci
5 “Curses!”
9 So others can hear
14 “The Fresh Prince of
Bel-Air” actress Tatyana
17 Title in colonial India
22 Event with isle seats?
23 “Rome” or “Empire,” e.g.
24 Sorrowful number
25 “Memoirs of a Geisha”
prop
26 Comment of resignation
27 A non-straight ’90s MTV
personality canceled
general Norman? Delish!
32 Needed bandages, say
33 ___ accompli
34 “It ___ take a rocket
scientist ...”
35 “Tossed” dishes, maybe
37 61 Across feature
39 Talks incessantly
42 Mexican state by Arizona
47 Tree of Life’s place
48 Chicken Little’s feeling
49 Foot in a sonnet
50 Pollo ___ brasa
(Peruvian dish)
53 Sidekick in Gotham
54 Yo, dude! A sappy NFL
passer is annoying
everyone at a New York
airport.
60 “The Killing” actress
Mireille
61 Flower featured at a
Pasadena parade
62 Ascended
63 Greek vowel
64 Vibrate rhythmically
66 Relatives of eagles
69 Crosses, as a river
71 Avoids putting away
the dishes?
74 “How about that!”
75 Stratosphere stuff
77 Pinnacle
79 Hook’s reptilian bane
80 Mr. Griffin, the “Atlanta”
network holds the rights to
that clumsy dance tune by
the fictional composer of
“A Little Nightmare Music.”
91 Golfer Palmer, informally
92 Cheer for a fútbol team
93 Greek vowel
94 Sweet treats
95 Roused from slumber96 Live (in)
98 ___ Alto, Calif.
99 Play honors
100 Chuckling sound
102 Audre Lorde pieces
106 Indication of hunger
107 Thor’s father
108 Mr. Novak, please send
that home shopping
network a copy of Junior’s
car rental ad immediately.
120 “Moulin ___”
121 “... you get the point”
122 Childish rebuttal
123 Up next, say
124 Mozart’s “___ kleine
Nachtmusik”
125 People eaters of myth
126 Bug-tracking org.
127 Non-glossy finish
128 Repair, as fences
129 Clarinetist’s itemDOWN
1 Everybody
2 Drag with effort
3 Amateur
4 Starz series in which
the World War II-era
nurse Claire Randall
travels back in time to
the year 1 743
5 NBA star Julius Erving’s
nickname6 Published
7 Friend found in Amiens,
in two different senses
8 Return document
9 Include
10 Billboard Hot 100, e.g.
11 Tolkien warrior
12 Repulsed reply
13 Moisture in a yard
14 Grown-out hairstyle
15 Not do much
16 Signs, as with a pen
17 Chief Zed’s portrayer in
“Men in Black” films
18 The Tanners’ ET pal
19 Lottery winner’s feeling
20 Sun Devils’ sch.
21 Jeans edge
23 VHS tapes’ successors
28 Geometry proof letters
29 Allocate, funding-wise
30 Campaign spots
31 Walk-___ (small roles)
35 Fix, as a slip
36 Tempest in a teapot
37 R&B trio with the hit
“Waterfalls”
38 “Serves you right!”
39 Admiring look, perhaps
40 Tan on a book cover
41 Short summer event?
43 Dairy-based beverage
44 ___ d’art
45 Results of earthquakes46 “Diana” singer Paul
48 Braying creature
49 “___ anyone’s game!”
50 Pumped, so to speak
51 More opposite
52 Brand of body wash
55 118 Down, en español
56 Ltr. destination, maybe
57 ___ Altos, Calif.
58 “The wind chill’s brutal!”
59 Prefix with “red”
64 “Look that way!”
65 What the outer fingers
in the hand symbol
\m/ represent
66 Werewolf’s wail
67 Bancroft of “G.I. Jane”
68 Borland of Limp Bizkit
69 Cylindrical headwear
70 Word that has stress
on the last syllable
72 Bartender-turned-pol
73 Til ___, actor who
played Hugo Stiglitz in
“Inglourious Basterds”
74 “Che!” actor Sharif
76 Panda cam locale
77 Plant product
78 Sch. event organizer
79 Grammy Awards channel
81 Prime before XI
82 Ships, in a way
83 Korean 77 Down brand
84 Texted chortle:$ 6 & 5 $1( 6 $66< % 8 )) 6
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6 $+,% $0 25 ( 272 (
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12 , 5 0(1 6 &+ 0(,1
&' 6 9 (*$ $% 6 $ 8 ', 7 ('
+($ 9 ( 186 (0( 18 0%( 52 1(
$& 7 ,, (,'( 5 813 ,1 5 1$
6 .(( 7 '$ 817 126 ( 6 7 $ 5 85 A “perfect” one uses
all 26 letters once
each, as seen in four
answers in this puzzle
86 Unlike the Miami heat
87 Gallon’s fourths: Abbr.
88 “Journey to Justice”
author Cochran
89 Texas-born prez.
90 “How about that!”
97 Title at a firm: Abbr.
98 “Daddy” rapper
99 Lake by Diamond Peak
100 Tattled (on)
101 http://www.gwu.___
103 Boy’s name from the
Old Norse for “boy”104 Emulates Bacon or
Berry
105 Gym setting, initially
106 “Look this way!”
108 Fraternity nickname
109 Fitbit user’s exercise
110 Fox’s coat
111 Time-travel?
112 Family name in the
film “Parasite”
113 First lady McKinley
114 Point made in writing?
115 Second word of OTOH
116 School using koans
117 Sanitary ___
118 Top seed’s number
119 Put on a ring, sayNOTE: EVAN BIRNHOLZ’S CROSSWORD AND ANSWERS WILL RETURN TO THE MAGAZINE NEXT WEEK.MIKE DU JOUR BY MIKE LESTERterm, committed relationships —
since you’re at least his third —
but who found reasons to get out
of them that were on the fearful
side of the ledger. Too young, too
much, not ready, eek! kids!
These tumultuous newlywed
months could be his latest
expression of the same deep,
apparently unaddressed fear —
eek! not ready! — his age and
willingness to marry you
notwithstanding. One incredibly
common manifestation of such
fearfulness is to pick fights with
the person who represents the
thing you’re afraid of. It’s easier
to fight problems until they
break up with you than to face
them.
Please try this theory on for a
while. See whether “scared to
death” fits when you ask yourself
why he’s balking, why you’re
fighting. If it does, then try these:
respond to him from the
standpoint of allaying fears, and
bring this possibility up in
therapy.
Even if I’m wrong about the
reason you aren’t getting along,
setting aside the issue of kids —
temporarily! — sounds right.
Even think what you’d do if you
couldn’t have them. To focus on
where you are vs. where you
would rather be would be
calming if nothing else. Calm
brings clarity. Clarity covers it all.Hi, Carolyn: My ex-boyfriend
from a few years ago has a habit
of resurfacing every so often and
asking me for small favors that
would be completely reasonable
if anyone else were asking.
Things like reading the cover
letter he plans to submit for a job
application.
He dumped me. He always
says he would like to be friends,
and I think asking for favors is
his way of trying to achieve that,
but they leave me feeling raw and
sad. I don’t exactly wish we were
back together, but I am still
attracted to him and drawn to
his magnetic personality.
Do I need to just push him
fully out of my life? Is there a way
to get to the point where this sort
of interaction isn’t so painful?
— Ex-boyfriend DramaEx-boyfriend Drama: If it’s not
mutual and not part of an actual
friendship, then asking for favors
is a way to get people to do things
for you for nothing. That’s it.
Please don’t do his
rationalizing for him, too.
If you don’t look out for each
other, unselfishly, then you aren’t
friends.
Say no to doing the favors. If
he remains in your life after that,
you can decide then whether to
push him out.Write to Carolyn Hax at
[email protected]. Get her
column delivered to your inbox each
morning at wapo.st/haxpost. J oin the discussion live at noon
Fridays at washingtonpost.com/
conversations.Dear Carolyn:
I’ve been married
only a year, but it
has been far from
the honeymoon
experience. Before
marriage, my
husband and I
talked about
children, and I
thought we were on the same
page. We discussed how we
would raise our children and
even considered a prenuptial
agreement around our future
children. He mentioned that one
of the reasons he was willing to
marry me is because he could see
me having his kid(s). This is a
man who broke two prior long-
term relationships because he
was too young and couldn’t
imagine having children with
those partners, so I took his word
seriously.
He is now 39 and had been
single 21 / 2 years before he met me.
Our marriage has been
tumultuous since Day One
because of cultural differences,
miscommunication and our
continuous triggering of each
other. We’re now into our second
therapist and things have gotten
slightly better, but he changed
his mind about kids. He is up in
the air now. Our therapists can’t
even get a straight answer from
him, but he mentions the
unstable relationship as a factor.
I intended to have children in
my early 30s, but this is affecting
me now as I approach 30 and
enter a one-year lease with him.
I’m wondering how long do I
wait, or do I start mentally
checking out within this next
year? Help me please!
— Stuck in Limbo
Stuck in Limbo: Allow me this,
upfront: The only right answer
for a volatile couple is to change
their minds on kids, even
temporarily. Even if it feels like a
broken promise, even if it makes
the roiling worse for a while,
even as windows are closing.
As upsetting and unwelcome
as this development has been, it
also presents a useful
opportunity. Instead of multiple
possibilities, problems and plans
to sort out between you, you have
one: Find a way to get along.
Give that your full attention, and
you’ll get to the answer sooner
on whether it’s even possible —
which then will tell you what
options you have remaining for
what comes next. The kid
question, with him, could be
moot.
This will feel counterintuitive,
as if you’re ignoring something
vitally important. Children are a
valid dealbreaker, a legitimate
priority for people who hope for
them, and they involve a decision
that can’t wait forever — but
right now, potential kids are
blocking a bigger picture.
I obviously don’t know your
husband. But you do, better than
you realize, maybe? Your
description reveals someone who
was not afraid to get into long-
They talked about kids. But
after marrying, he’s not sure.
Carolyn
Hax
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