The Times - UK (2020-08-01)

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learnt, too, that faith, although tested, had helped people to survive the loss. Sam, a vicar in London, spoke about the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, three men who, as described in the Old Testament Book of Daniel, are thrown into a fire after refusing to bow down to an idol. A fourth person appears with them in the flames. “They found God with them in the fire,” said Sam. This sense of God’s presence, his closeness to those traversing the valley of the shadow of death, was described by others and reminded me of another CS Lewis passage — the moment in The Magician’s Nephew when Digory asks Aslan to heal his mother and notices that Aslan himself is crying (“They were such big, bright tears compared with Digory’s own that for a moment he felt as if the Lion must really be sorrier about his mother than he was himself ”). It has always moved me to know that Lewis lost his mother when he was nine. For me, the belief that God was not unmoved by what had happened to my family, that he shared our sorrow, was a turning point in my grief. Crucial, too, after the loss of my mother as a confidante was the knowledge that I could always talk to God, certain that he was listening. Psalm 27:8 (“My heart has heard you say, ‘Come and talk with me.’ And my heart responds, ‘Lord, I am coming.’ ”) became one of my favourite verses. None of this is to suggest that losing a loved one is easier if you have a faith. In some ways it raises more questions. How could God allow it to happen? Why weren’t my prayers for healing answered? Malcolm, a university chaplain, remarked that it was “very proper” that he should be on the receiving end of grieving students’ anger towards God. Dan, whose brother took his

own life, recalled storming out of a church where all the worship songs were about “how wonderful God was”. Stories like this highlight the importance of good theological engagement with young people who are grieving. I believe that this dialogue should go beyond the minority of teenagers who identify with a religion. When researchers from the charity Youthscape interviewed secondary school pupils in Luton they discovered that while religion, faith or God evinced little curiosity, questions about death and the afterlife came up “time and time again”. Often, the trigger had been a bereavement. This perhaps shouldn’t come as a surprise. It is striking that fiction for young adults has often engaged imaginatively with mortality and life after death. John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars, Judy Blume’s Tiger Eyes and A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness are all good examples. At the heart of the Disney film Onward is the quest of two boys offered the opportunity to briefly resurrect their father. During the Covid-19 pandemic, questions about our mortality and what may lie beyond it have become more urgent than ever for young people. While conscious of the need to tread with great sensitivity, I am convinced that the church has something beautiful to contribute. We believe in a God who draws close to those who grieve, who is with us in the fire, a God who came to free us from the fear of death, into whose everlasting arms we commit those who die. Whether we know it or not, he is close to the broken- hearted, ready to talk when we are.

Madeleine Davies is deputy news editor of the Church Times. Her book Lights for the Path: A Guide Through Grief, Pain and Loss, is published by SPCK

WHOEVER loves his life loses it,
and whoever hates his life in this world
will keep it for eternal life.
John 12.25 (ESV)

Bible verses are provided by the
Bible Society

How bereavement shaped

and strengthened my faith

I

t’s 25 years since my mother died yet the fact of her death is still hovering around the conversation whenever I make a new acquaintance. It’s not unusual to have lost a parent by the time you are in your thirties. What surprises me is how difficult I still find it to articulate the fact without tears pricking my eyes. It’s not just the memory of her illness that comes to mind — it’s everything that came afterwards: how hard things were without her. It is an experience that has also shaped my faith. For some of us at least, it’s impossible to watch someone die during those formative years and not be assailed by hard questions about God, suffering and mortality. The question that troubled CS Lewis after the death of his wife, “Where is she now?”, recorded in A Grief Observed, was mine, too. I wanted to be able to place my mother. The early loss of a parent or sibling is thankfully rare in comparison with earlier generations, but not as unusual as might be assumed. The Child Bereavement Network estimates that every day 112 children lose a parent in the UK. When I began researching my book on teenage bereavement, I found that many members of the clergy, including some Anglican bishops, are among this number. What struck me was how vividly my interviewees could recall moments, often many decades later. The thoughts that went through their head as they sat through a funeral, the comforting, and sometimes tactless, things that adults had said to them. I

Credo Madeleine Davies

ine

Legal news

6 Peter William Clarke, QC, as a circuit judge, on May 30.

Clarence House 31st July, 2020 The Prince Charles, Duke of Rothesay, this afternoon visited Caithness General Hospital, Bankhead, Wick, and was received by Her Majesty’s Lord-Lieutenant of Caithness (the Viscount Thurso).

Court Circular

civil and family justice centre, from July 6.

Retirements 6 Nicola Cavendish Harrison, as a district judge, on May 3. 6 Murray Laurence Creed, as a circuit judge, on May 9. 6 David James Rennie, as a circuit judge, on May 9. 6 Brian John Doyle, as president of the employment tribunals (England and Wales), on May 9. 6 John Russell Aitken, as president of the social entitlement chamber of the First-tier Tribunal, on May 10. 6 John Lloyd Davies, as a district judge, on May 13. 6 Nicholas George Edward Loraine-Smith, as a circuit judge, on May 23. 6 John Matthews, as a district judge, on May 24.

Appointments The Queen has made the following appointments on the advice of the lord chancellor and the lord chief justice of England and Wales:

6 David Richard Herbert, QC, to be a circuit judge. The lord chief justice deployed him to the Midland Circuit, based at Northampton crown court, from June 1. 6 John Arthur Butterfield, QC, to be a circuit judge. The lord chief justice deployed him to the Midland Circuit, based at Wolverhampton crown court and Birmingham crown court, from May 26. 6 Neville Wayne Beard to be a circuit judge. The lord chief justice deployed him to the Wales Circuit, based at Cardiff

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HIND Brian George Owen, passed away on 22nd July 2020, at Lathbury Manor Care Home, Newport Pagnell (Buckinghamshire) aged 79 years. Dearly loved by his late wife Judith. Brian will be sadly missed by Martin, Pabby and James Hartigan and all family and friends. The Funeral Service will take place on Tuesday 4th August at St Lawrence Church, Weston Underwood. Due to COVID 19 only family allowed to attend the Funeral Service. No flowers please. Donations in memory of Brian are for Injured Jockeys Fund and the Lewy Body Society. Further enquiries to H W Mason & Sons Undertakers, 9 High Street, Newport Pagnell, MK16 8AR. Tel: 01908 611112

GELUKKIGE VERJAARDAG PRAGTIGE MEISIE KB You are my life my love my world You make my heart feel like it's summer When the rain is pouring down You make my whole world feel so right when it's wrong That's how I know you are the one Six years together and many more to come You are The One All my love NB Always and Forever

LUDLOW Sheila (née Holmes) died peacefully on 25th July 2020, aged 73 After 7 years’ struggle with cruel Alzheimer’s Disease, peacefully with her children beside her. Late of East Sheen, SW14. Much loved wife of Michael and his family. Widow of Russell Pratt. Dearly loved mother of Anna, James and Emily, and grandchildren. Private cremation. Donations, if desired, to the staff of Mill House Care Home, Worcestershire. http://www.justgiving.com/crowdfundi ng/Sheila-Ludlow

COOPER Leonard Gerard passed away peacefully on 25th July 2020, aged 95 at home in Stoke Newington. Loving husband to Anne, father and grandfather. Sadly missed. Donations if desired to St. Joseph's Hospice, Hackney c/o A. France & Son, 45 Lamb's Conduit Street, London. WC1N 3 NH

MR H.A.P. GREENWOOD AND MISS G. RENNIE The engagement is happily announced between Hamish, son of Mr and Mrs Hamilton Greenwood of Whitsbury, Hampshire, and Georgina, younger daughter of Mr and Mrs William Rennieof Burgess Hill, West Sussex.

SEEL : EREMINA Gregory Brian and Olga (Eremina) Seel are proud to announce their sixth wedding anniversary. The couple was married in Alexandria, Virginia, USA on this day in 2014. Formal celebrations with friends and family took place in Kolomna, Russia in May 2015. They look forward to many more happy and healthy years together.

SANDERSElizabeth Catherine (Lizzie),Botanical artist, graphic designer, much loved wife to the late Nick, mother to Robin and Toby, and grandmother to Sidney, died peacefully on the 24th July at the Western General in Edinburgh after a short illness. Her family were at her side. A private funeral will be held on the 6th August. Donations if desired to Royal Botanic Gardens Edinburgh and Cancer Research UK.

WARD Elizabeth Despard OBE (née Rynd) on 20th July 2020, adored and adoring widow of Nigel, loving mother, grandmother and great grandmother. Founder of The British Kidney Patient Association (now Kidney Care UK). Donations in her memory, if desired, to Kidney Research UK to ensure that dialysis and transplantation become unnecessary in the future.There will be a Service of Thanksgiving at a later date.

MRG.G.A.FAITH
AND MISSM.C.BELL
The engagement is announced between
Guy, second son of Brigadier Anthony
Faith of West Burton, North Yorkshire,
and Mrs Philippa Barton of Little
Ouseburn, North Yorkshire, and
Martha, younger daughter of Mr Robert
Bell of Langcliffe, North Yorkshire, and
The Hon. Serena Fairfax of Chilton
Foliat, Berkshire.

MR L. OGILVIE THOMPSON AND MISS U. MALI The marriage took place on 18th July 2020, at Holy Cross Binsted, Hampshire, between Luke and Ursa

MRR.J.SAUNDERS
AND THE HONN.J.BUSCOMBE
Jack, younger son of Mr Simon
Saunders of Bideford, Devon and Mrs
Sally Bate of Wimbledon, London, and
Nathalie, only daughter of Mr Philip
and The Baroness Buscombe of Goring
on Thames, Oxfordshire.

DUNCAN Patricia (née Rankin) on 25th July 2020, aged 88. Of Warden, Hexham peacefully at home. Much loved mother of Vanessa and Caroline, grandmother to James and Julia. Funeral at St Michael's Church Warden on Wednesday 5th August at 3pm. Family flowers only, donations to Age UK c/o Dodd's of Hexham NE46 2EW.

MRE.J.C.UNWIN
AND MISSC.CHEN
Edward, younger son of Mr and Mrs
David Unwin of Newmarket, Suffolk
and Chen, daughter of Mr Chen Song
Jie and Mrs Zhang Qi of Shanghai,
China.

MRE.L.A.ROZARIO
AND MISSL.E.FANTHORPE
Edward, son of Mr and Mrs Stephen
Rozario of Wokingham, Berkshire and
Laura, daughter of Mr and Mrs
Anthony Fanthorpe of Weston Turville,
Buckinghamshire.

MRC.E.WOOD
AND MISSD.S.YEH
between Charles, eldest son of His
Honour Judge and Mrs Simon Wood of
Newcastle upon Tyne and Denise,
daughter of Mr Steve Yeh and Ms Sue
Wang of New York.

MRT.I.FLOWERS
AND MISSM.B.DACK
Tommy, only son of Ian and Clare
Flowers of Basildon, Essex, and
Manuela, daughter of Stuart and
Angela Dack, of West Bay, Grand
Cayman.
MR.H.PORTER
AND DR.M.PEASE
Hugo, youngest son of Maj. Gen. and
Mrs. Roddy Porter of Camberley,
Surrey and Marina, younger daughter
of The Revd. and Mrs. Alex Pease of
Martyr Worthy, Hampshire.

MRJ.W.ROBINSON
AND MISSZ.H.L.BOYD
James, son of Dr and Mrs Philip
Robinson of Sneyd Park, Bristol and
Zara, daughter of Mr and Mrs Quentin
Boyd of Wandsworth Common, London.

HOLZHÜTER Gillian Helen (Gill) (née Kemlo) died peacefully on 26th July 2 020, aged 75 Beloved wife of Horst Peter, Dearly loved mother of Helen and Stephanie. Private cremation in Germany. Donations, if desired, to Mind.org.uk

MRF.W.HILTON
AND MISSE.A.RICHARDSON
Frederick, son of Andrew Hilton of
London and Victoria Donald of Jersey
and Edwina, daughter of Peter and
Margie Richardson of Jersey

TASH WEBSTER To our dear cousin Tash - wishing you a very, very happy 2 1st birthday for tomorrow. With love from your cousins, Catherine, Tony, Catriona, Conal and Maeve.

ILLINGWORTH On 24th July 2020 to
Eloise (née Morgan) and William, a
daughter, Alice Constance (6lbs 7oz)
born at Chelsea and Westminster
Hospital

GRAD Andrew Thomas died on 23rd July 2020, aged 76 A devoted husband, a loving father and proud grandfather. He is at peace now.

VAUGHANOn 19th July 2020 to
Arabella (née Landon) and Nicholas, a
son, Giacomo Charles Gauvain , brother
to Allegra and Sebastian

JOHNSON On 10th July 2020 to Gabriela (née Chagas Maia) and Maximilian, a daughter, Ayla Maia

SMITH John Scott on 27th April 2020, aged 76 Very missed today his birthday.

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