55TRAVEL Bloomberg Pursuits August 3, 2020
anticipatepickyclients’suddendesires
endupincinerated.Mostmealscome
fromcatererAirCulinaireWorldwide,
whoselockonin-flightdiningallowsit
tocharge$18fora singlelemon.
EnterJetSuite’sfavoritegame:“Guess
thebill.”Everyonemakesa betbased
onthedepartureairportandtheday’s
menu—say,twooatmeals,freshorange
juice,fourmuffins,andbloodymary
mix,leavingfroma hubwitheasypro-
curement,LosAngeles.Myguess:$100.
Correctanswer:$360.Let’stryanother:
breakfastandlunchfornineflyingacross
thePacific.$3,000?Nope:$6,800.And
expecttopay 10 timestherackratefor
a bottleofDom.Dufayhasneverseen
a billgohigherthan$10,000,butathis
formerjobtherewererumorsoffive-
digitfoodstuffsfora Middle Eastern
royalfamily—and all they’d end up eat-
ing were the potato chips. As for the left-
overs? They end up in flames.
Cooking aboard a Legacy 650 is a feat
unto itself. Caris taught me to sear steaks
on the bottom of the galley oven (rather
than in a pan) to compensate for its low-
power safety settings. To avoid food
odors in the passenger cabin, the ventila-
tion dumps out in the cockpit. “It would
probably freak clients out to know that
pilots often wear oxygen masks when I’m
cooking,” she says with a laugh.
⑦Staffwill
playtherole
ofproblem-
solving
superhero—
andtherapist
RememberthatsceneinTheDevilWears
PradawhenMerylStreep’scharacter
asksherassistant (Anne Hathaway)
toflyherbacktoNewYorkthrougha
hurricane?“Itotallywouldhavegot-
ten Miranda Priestly home,” Galli
asserts.She’shiredsuperstretchlimos
andcharterbuseswithbedstoshuttle
groundedtravelers,boughtspaceheat-
erstodefrosta plane’sbatteries,even
footedfive-figurefeestochangea VIP
family’sconnectingcommercialflight.
Turbulenceis anotherissue.Zdrakas
uses her maternal instincts—literal
handholding—to calm certain hysterical
passengers. But that wasn’t enough for
a former SNL star whom Adair considers
to be JetSuite’s most terrified flyer. On
one bumpy flight, he says, “he removed
all of his clothing and white-knucklediton the floor, chugging vodka.”
Weather-related flight adjustments
are most common when flying in or out
of New York City. Yet Aspen is a more
stressful place for pilots to land, with
its single runway and nouveau riche
midwinter demand. The headache
pays; Aspen-goers are among JetSuite’s
wealthiest members. Take one family of
six, who travels with their nanny every
March from Mexico City. “They never
bring luggage,” Dufay says. “They just
buy all-new ski gear, then ditch it in
their vacation home when they leave.”
They also rent five Hummers. “No one
drives them,” Dufay adds. “They just
like the way they look in the driveway.”⑧ Fat invoices,
slimmargins
Duringmyweekonstaff,weorganized
a daytrip from Burbank to Napa for
oenophiles and connected a flyer with
his megayacht in the Caribbean. My
most expensive itinerary, between Los
Angeles and Kona, left an aircraft idle
for eight days and cost $180,000—half of
whatanothercolleaguemadebookinga
weeklongholidaytoTahiti.Butprofits
don’tcomeeasyinthisvolatile industry.
“One bad week could sink a company,”
saysPresidentStephanieChung.
Something assimple as fixing a
coffee maker requires grounding
the plane—and a whopping $30,000.
Monthly Wi-Fi charges run into the
deep five figures. And outfitting an air-
craft with silverware, bedding, and
electronics exceeds $100,000. (Much
of it gets stolen.)
Another issue that makes the staff
squish their stress balls? Donald Trump.
Weather and mechanical issues are the
main causes for delays and cancella-
tions,whichevolveintocostlyreposi-
tioningofflightsoremptylegs.Butthe
president’schronictardiness—farworse
thanotherheadsofstate—isthethird-
worsthindrance to on-time departures,
with Air Force One shutting down mas-
sive swaths of airspace for long stretches.
Even time machines have limits. <BW>