MEL’SWORLD
8 OCTOBER2020|COMPUTER SHOPPER|ISSUE
Musical shares
IWASAyoung man living in
Stockholm. It was the summer of
1969 and Iwas broke. Ihad the
clothes Istood up in,adiploma in
architecture and akazoo.Iwas too
shy to be abusker,soIinvented
pay-on-demand, live-streamed
entertainment. Ibecame ahuman
jukebox. Icommandeered an
abandoned cardboard box, which
was just about big enough to hide
inside,and Icut aslot near the
topfor my media input/output.
Below the slot, Ipunched eight
holes to act as the graphic user
interface.There were eight holes
because Ionly knew eight songs,
and Iscrawled the song title next
to each hole.The idea was for
passers-bytoprovide me with
digital input commands by
sticking their finger through the
hole of their choice,and Iwould
give them ashort rendition of the
selected song on my kazoo.
As atoken of appreciation
theywould reward me with loose
change dropped through asmall
vertical slot labelled ‘Thank You’
in English and Swedish. It was very
hot squatting inside that box.
More than half acentury later,
the music industry should be in
crisis. As aresult of the pandemic,
artists and musicians have seen
venues close down, festivals
cancelled, toursabandoned, and
wary audiences slink off to go
online.The new normal forlive
performers should be that they
are well and truly buggered.
But Iamdelighted to saythe
oppositeistrue.The new normal
has revealed that the traditional
models forthe entertainment
industry were ahoax. All those
record labels, agents, managers,
ticketers and merchandisers were
abunch of parasites.
The new generation doesn’t
even need akazoo and cardboard
box to squat in foralive
performance.They’ve got phones.
And theydon’t need to rely on
passers-by. They’ve got aglobal
audience,thankstoutilities like
SoundCloud, Tidal and Jeeni. Even
Facebook offers afree live-
streaming facility in the shape of
Watch-Parties forinterminable
live broadcasts of self-indulgent
shitefrom the box-room. And I’m
not just talking about singers and
musicians. The same applies to
actors, dancers, poets, voiceovers
and kazoo virtuosos.
DISTRO BEAT
More independent artists than
ever before have been able to
break intothe mainstream
without any support from a
lousy label, poncy publisher,
suffocating sponsor,mingy
manager or arrogant agent. This
is an entertainment revolution,
where digital distribution,
streaming platforms, social media
and online marketing tools have
changed the wayartists perform
their work and reach out to fans.
By cutting out the spongers,
an independent artist can enjoya
number of important advantages.
To me,the most important is that
theynow have 100% complete
control over the direction of their
music, spoken word and creative
work. Theyalsohavefull control
over distribution, marketing,
artwork, merchandising, deadlines,
gigs, ticketing, prices, schedules
–infact, all the decisions about
their creative vision.
But it’s not just about control.
The new normal means that
independent artists can keep
100% of theprofits generated
from sales, streams, licensing
deals, merchandise,and small
change dropped through
cardboard slots. The reason they
can do this is because without
the parasites, theyown all their
own stuff. Independent artists
own the master rights to their
creative work, which means they
also have the freedom to
negotiatelicensing, streaming
and publishing deals, and they
don’thavetoworryaboutshyster
contracts,expensivelawyersand
signingovertheirrights.
LEECHTOTHEIROWN
Of course,the parasites are not
going to give up without afight.
Agents, publishers, distributors
and publicists are still clinging on,
years after it became obvious
that nobody needs them now
that anyone can self-publish in
the digital age.Inthe music and
entertainment industry,the
leeches will argue that theyare
vital, even though theyalready
know they’re dead. Theywillkeep
trying to treat artists like idiots
and tell them theydon’t have the
moneyfor mastering, production,
touring or merchandise.Which is
alie,because if artists don’t have
to paythe leeches, then theywill
save themoney.
Artists will also be told they
have alimited network of fans
and contacts, whereas labels and
organisations have access to big
fatfanbases and red-hot
connections with professionals,
promoters, booking agents and
media. This is an even bigger lie,
demonstrated by thefact that
even ano-hoper musician like me
has aFacebook network big
enough to fillthe RoyalAlbert
Hall,including the bogs, with or
without social distancing.
The biggest problem Ican
foresee in this brave new world of
independent entertainment is
lack of discipline.Put simply,if
creatives were once prepared to
rely on abunch of parasites and
leeches, theymust now learn to
rely on themselves, and that
involves actually getting down to
some hard work and doing stuff,
irrespective of whether or not
theyhaveoodlesofnative talent.
Desperation and hunger is an
excellent motivator,soIinvite
the independent artists and
performers of the new normal to
getholdoftheir own electronic
cardboard box and give it ago.
Andabove all, don’t forget to
have fun while you’re about it.
MELCROUCHER
Tech pioneer and all-round good egg
[email protected]
Artists nowhave100% complete controloverthe
direction of their creativework
StreamingserviceshavecomealongwaysinceMelCrouchersatinacardboardbox
withakazooplayingsongsonrequest.It’sgoodnewsfor artists,badnewsforparasites
