JUNE 20 19IF YOU’RE ALWAYS
Rushing and Cranky...
The obvious answer is to wake up earlier, but without real
motivation, that’s a futile ask. Consider this: “If your boss
requested an early meeting, you’d make time for it,” says
Rachel Needle, a psychologist and sex therapist in West
Palm Beach, Florida. “We often blow off sex because it
doesn’t seem like an immediate need for our partner, but
making a conscious effort to be intimate is almost more
important than the intimacy itself.”
If that doesn’t get you to rise early, pinpoint major
t i me - suck s (say, cho osi ng a n out fit, d r y i ng you r ha i r) a nd
do those the night before. Or fold your partner into your
routine: “I’m taking a quick shower—care to join?” When-
ever time anxiety or crabbiness kills your mojo, remem-
ber that it’s almost impossible to feel grouchier after sex.
IF YOU HAVE WAY
Different
Schedules...
In an ideal world,
you’d compromise so
that you both get up
and go at each other
around the median of
your wake-up times
(as in, your bedmate
rises at five and you
at seven, so six would
be your magic hour).
But if that’s not pos-
sible, find opportuni-
ties to catch them off
guard, says Marin.
“Playfulness and
surprise are two ele-
ments that couples
forget to incorporate
over time, but they’re
also two we secretly
long for.” They have
a reciprocal effect
as well—meaning the
more you beguile
your S.O., the more
they’ll want to do the
same for you.
When you’re get-
ting dressed, pull
out your laciest thong
and say, “Hey, I’m try-
ing to decide which
undies to wear today.
What do you think of
these?” Or when
they’re checking their
email, send them a
sexy picture from the
other room, with a
text like, “Waiting for
you....” Spontaneity
makes excitement
practically a given.IF YOU HAVE Kiddos...
Have you tried locking the door? Prob-
ably, and you’re still interrupted—or distract-ed. We get it. But if your children can be left
alone in their bed (not crib) at night, they can
likely be left at the table for a few minutes too.So go for a quickie, and amp the excitement
by turning it into a challenge, says Needle.
Whisper in your partner’s ear, “The kids aree at i ng bre a k fa st; we have 10 m i nute s. Me et
you in the bathroom.” For younger toddlers,
you sorta have to commit to waking up be-fore them. (The good news: It’s temporary.)
If mom guilt hits, ignore it. Together time
will improve your connection, so you can bebetter coparents for the day...and for life.
63
percent of women
copped to
never having had
morning sex.
That ends now!
Source: 2018 Mattress
Advisor surveyIF YOU FEEL
Less Than
Desirable...
Particularly with
newer partners, you
might feel uneasy be-
fore you’ve brushed
your teeth, put on
makeup, or show-
ered. No shame! Just
know that a s your
biggest critic, your
mindset is much
more likely to kill the
mood than how you
look (or smell). But
if you still get in your
own way, a casual
out-of-bed chat can
help, Marin says. “Let
your partner know
you’re a little self-
conscious about X or
Y. J u s t h e a r i n g t h e m
say, ‘I couldn’t care
less about that’ is
really powerful.” And
outside the bedroom,
practice self-love
and self-acceptance,
so you can feel more
comfortable in all
situations.
You could also
experiment with
positions that aren’t
face-to-face, like
spooning or reverse
cowgirl. (“Let’s try
this new position!”
is a great cover.) And
maybe keep breath
strips by the bed.
That’s the only morn-
ing symptom worth
caring about.